Slippery Bastards

BP is denying the existence of the underwater oil plumes.

VENICE, La. — Disputing scientists' claims of large oil plumes suspended underwater in the Gulf of Mexico, BP PLC's chief executive on Sunday said the company has largely narrowed the focus of its cleanup to surface slicks rolling into Louisiana's coastal marshes.

During a tour of a BP PLC staging area for cleanup workers, CEO Tony Hayward said the company's sampling showed "no evidence" that oil was suspended in large masses beneath the surface. He didn't elaborate on how the testing was done.

Of course he didn't. After all, the environmental damage will be "very, very modest." Right, Tony? I seriously think we have our Joseph Hazelwood here -- with apologies to Joseph Hazelwood.