“That would be disappointing”

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

If congressional Republican hand corporations one of the biggest tax cuts they've seen in our lifetimes, they'll use that money to invest in jobs and higher wages, right? Right?

Well, no.

The search for a CEO who will make those promises is a difficult one as most have been perfectly honest by saying they'll use the windfall to buy back stocks and pay dividends.

CEOs have stated this very clearly and very publicly but, for reasons that make me want to bang my head against a wall, Senate Republicans still "hope" that won't be the case.

I hope they’ll do the right thing. What we want corporate America to do is what the smaller companies do,” [Senator Richard Shelby] said. “I believe a lot of that will go on, rather than buybacks and stuff like that. I hope that’s what will happen. We have to work the high road, and hope they do that. Some won’t, but I think a majority of the people will invest in the future and grow the economy.”

“The purpose of lowering the corporate rate to encourage job creation here,” Collins told HuffPost at a Christian Science Monitor breakfast on Thursday. “It is not to encourage stock buybacks, which tend to enrich the executives of a firm. So that would be disappointing if that was the case.

Yes, that would be too bad.

Rather than simply hoping or guessing what corporate America will do, these senators could try asking them. They could also try reading the numerous news reports quoting CEOs who say they will buy back stocks and pay dividends.

If they truly want to see mega-corporations "do the right thing" like their smaller, mythical counterparts, they could have written their bill in a way that would compel them to, but they didn't. Eliminating taxes on overseas profits isn't going to help small companies that don't have overseas profits. Even the conservative National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB) opposes their bill because it's too favorable to large multinational corporations.

It would be perfectly understandable if, like me, you feel like we're all going to be led off a cliff by some of the most incompetent dumbasses in the world who should have retired 20 years ago while their brains were still fully functioning.

  • Draxiar

    They hope they’ll do the right thing? Why not send thoughts and prayers too? They all seem so effective. I’m an eternal optimist and a strong proponent of hope. I also understand that hope is for things that are largely beyond your control. Legislation is in they’re control and hoping mega-corps do the right thing (I’m laughing for fear of raging at that idea) is utterly preposterous…anyone recall the 2007 crash? Yeah…companies doing “the right thing”.

  • Nefercat

    “most incompetent dumbasses in the world who should have retired 20 years ago while their brains were still fully functioning”
    When did they ever have fully-functioning brains?

  • Badgerite

    They “hope” the corporate America will “do the right thing?” Oh lord. Corporate America is not in the business of “doing the right thing.” They are in the business of making money and paying themselves and their share holder dividends.
    They do know that, right?

  • muselet

    So, R senators recognize the possibility that corporations will do exactly what their CEOs are saying they’ll do, but they’re serenely confident those CEOs are lying and will actually hire more people and raise salaries. Asked to explain that belief, Rs reply that they “hope” corporations do so and prattle about the “purpose” of cutting corporate tax rates.

    The prize, though, can go to no one but this man:

    Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.) said he was not concerned by the prospect of CEOs enriching investors over their workers. Asked by HuffPost as to why not, Kennedy responded “because I’m not” and walked into a Senate elevator.

    Ah, the venerable “Retreat Rapidly To An Elevator” strategy so beloved of Cicero. It’s good to see classical debating techniques are still in use, isn’t it? Kennedy’s careful use of rhetoric and rock-solid logic make his argument devastating.

    Damn, that free-market unicorn poop is really starting to pile up, isn’t it?


  • Username1016

    Republicans will never understand that corporations are sociopathic. Corporations NEVER have the public good at heart — they’re just greed machines. Duh, that’s why we have to regulate them, so they don’t hoover up all the money and take a crap all over the environment while producing defective products and allowing workers to be crushed and scalded and poisoned along the way as collateral damage. They. Do. Not. Care.

  • Tony Lavely

    It’s not completely clear to me that twenty years ago, their minds were functioning all that well.

  • As we all know, these corporations are already sitting on Scrooge McDuck-esque piles of money so that if they wanted to expand, hire more workers, or increase wages, THEY ALREADY COULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!

    Treasonous, ignorant assholes.

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