Republican Party

The Birther Posse Sheriff is Done

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

The Arizona Republican primary race to succeed Senator John McCain concluded last night and former birther posse sheriff Joe Arpaio didn't just lose; he finished in third place behind a candidate who barely raised the bar above his head.

The Phoenix New Times gave Arpaio the send-off he deserves this morning and, as they point out, Kelli Ward may have been an avowed conspiracy theorist who believes in Chemtrails, but Joe Arpaio still managed to become the most absurd candidate.

Arpaio was notable in this race for raising only a fraction of the millions he soaked up during his six successful campaigns for sheriff, and for humiliating himself in epic fashion by agreeing to accept an “amazing blowjob” from President Donald Trump during an episode of Sacha Baron Cohen’s Showtime series Who Is America?

The 86-year-old ex-lawman claimed he’d been “duped,” telling Phoenix New Times news editor Ray Stern that he was genuinely confused by Cohen, who posed as a spazzed-out, orange-haired YouTube star from Finland.

Kelli Ward's closing message was that John McCain timed his own death to sabotage her campaign, but she still received more votes than Joe Arpaio.

Martha McSally received 52 percent of the vote, Kelli Ward received 28 percent, and Joe Arpaio received just 18 percent of the vote.

In other words, nearly half of Republican primary voters in Arizona voted for two completely unhinged individuals. The other half voted for an average Republican who will face Representative Kyrsten Sinema (D) in the general election.

  • muselet

    Joe Arpaio is 86, so this was probably—probably—his last hurrah in politics.

    I doubt he’ll gracefully withdraw from the public eye, though. Arpayaso will likely end up a Special Commentator on Fox News Channel or writing opinion pieces for InfoWars or the Wall Street Journal.

    –alopecia

    • Nefercat

      And when the nasty fucker finally dies, how long will it take pumpkinhead to order all the flags to fly at half-mast?

      • muselet

        Donald Trump would instantly order flags to fly at half-staff for a week. He’d also designate Joe Arpaio eligible for a state funeral.

        –alopecia

  • Aynwrong

    Good lord, these people can’t be parodied anymore.

  • Georgie

    Thank god.