Bob and Chez Show

The Bob & Chez Show Presented By 1/4/16

Bob and Chez
Written by Bob and Chez

RELM_buttonCorn Patritos: First Show of 2016; Special Monday Edition; The Militia Standoff in Oregon; The Militias Need Snacks; Dan Bidondi's Patritos; White Privilege On Display; Just Another Cliven Bundy; Militia Member's Hilariously Sappy Farewell Video; Alex Jones Thinks It's Another False Flag; Grabass and Laser Tag; and much more. Brought to you by Bubble Genius, the Amazon Link and The Bowen Law Group.


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  • Badgerite

    Little Green Footballs has an interview posted with the sheriff of the town. According to him, these patritos have been in town and stalking local people who work for the US Fish and Wildlife Service and their families since November 5th. They also have nothing to do with the people they claim to be taking these actions for. They have already turned themselves in and are ready to abide by the law. He also stated that as far as he is concerned, the Bundyistas will be prosecuted for breaking that law.

    • Aynwrong

      “He also stated that as far as he is concerned, the Bundyistas will be prosecuted for breaking that law.”

      These people need very much to be prosecuted. Otherwise this will keep happening. A phrase that’s popular with conservatives comes to mind. “Practicing the politics of appeasement.”

      • Badgerite

        It isn’t about politics. It is about law. If you can explain to me why the Hammonds were prosecuted under a terrorism statute passed in the wake of the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building rather than under a more appropriate and less severe statute, I’m all ears. I think this group sees themselves as engaging in civil disobedience in order to raise an issue. However, the heavy weaponry does not help their case. Civil disobedience does not involve firearms. What’s more, it doesn’t seem to me that the Hammonds even agree with their actions.
        Still, given that they are heavily armed and in earnest, I would just look for a peaceful way to end this and get them out of town.

        • Aynwrong

          You do know I agree with you right?

          • Badgerite

            Yes. I was just adding on due to further information. TPM is always a good source.

      • Badgerite

        Josh Marshall at TPM has a further fleshing out of the disputes that brought about this prosecution and it involves threatening actions on the part of the Hammonds made against people working for the BLM. And these are local people after all. The BLM does not import them from Mars or anything. And I can’t even express how utterly outraged I would be if some group of armed yahoos came into my community and took over municipal, county, state or federal land at the point of a gun. They seek to overturn the verdict of elections, juries, courts that they don’t agree with all at the point of a gun.
        There really is no excuse for that. What’s more, it is, I think, at the core of why the NRA is always opposed to any gun regulations or restrictions. It isn’t about crime or self defense. It is about the idea that a group of armed white men get to challenge the laws, whether locally enforced or otherwise, and juries, and courts and elections with the threat of violence and bloodshed.
        It is not alright.

  • Oh, that Bleeding the Beast is still intact… least it is openly done by FDLS in Northern Arizona and Southern Utah, in the polygamist communities. Every time a baby drops out of one of the “wives” in Colorado City you will hear the distinct sound of “Cha-Ching!”.

    I would love to create a computer game where women dressed in LIttle House on the Prairie dresses run around a small town trying to safely give birth and earn coins (Cha-Ching). Obstacles to avoid would be the attacks of lecherous elderly men, hordes of hungry and irritable children and bitchy sister wives. There would be a store where they can buy increased speed to run away from the men, distractions and food for the kids, and improved weapons to use on their sister wives. On the higher levels I’d thrown in another obstacle–the returing teenage males who were exiled by all the old men hording the women and now want revenge. Not sure yet what counterattack to use there. Ultimately, the goal of the game is to have as many children as possible and earn enough money to buy their own slice of heaven on the new planet they’ve been promised by some angel named Moroni(c), where they ironically will still be a servant to their god-like husbands.

    I think I would get a lot of hate mail.

    • Aynwrong

      So, Mormon Grand Theft Auto?

      Sounds horrifying. Sign me up.

      • LOL, never played Grand Theft Auto. Maybe I could call it Grand Theft Horsebuggy.

        • Aynwrong

          Grand Theft Auto Baby Mama.

  • I ate all my Patritos last night while on a bender….guess they’re SOL.

  • katanahamon

    These losers need to be forcibly removed at this point. This only reinforces the other nut jobs who want to grab guns and achieve their demented goals through illegal means.

  • Badgerite

    Oh! Oh, the martyrdom. Where is my hankie?
    I think the Feds should institute a snacks embargo. No snacks for you.

    • Aynwrong

      Snack Nazi!!!

  • KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker

    Another great show and a happy 2016 to all.

  • Diane Sloan

    Anyone who is not a Patreon subscriber is missing it! The Very Bidondi Christmas specials are priceless. I’ve listened to them a couple times. Maybe this means I’m a terrible person, but they make me laugh every time.

    • Victor the Crab

      You can never be a terrible person when laughing at Dan Bidondi. Not when he makes claims that the Sandy Hook massacre never happened or when he wants to blow up an (empty) abortion clinic. That fat, hairless ape deserves every bit of scorn going his way.

  • leemoder

    An early show…And a real treat, too. Thanks, guys.

  • Aynwrong

    There has been injustice visited upon Americans by the government throughout the history of this country that were far worse than anything white conservatives have ever been exposed to. The treatment of the Tuskegee Airmen, the Tuskegee experiments, the internment of Japanese citizens in the wake of Pearl Harbor, Sundown towns (local government) and none of these incurred violent uprisings. They may have a valid grievance against the Bureau of Land Management but when they call it tyranny they cheapen the meaning of the word and insult the memory of their fellow Americans who have suffered genuine oppression.

    What more can you expect from a bunch of people who think The X Files was a documentary and listen to Alex Jones as though he were Edward R. Murrow.

    I was listening to Ben Jealous earlier on All In w/ Chris Hayes who made the point that when pointing out the staggering inconsistency with with which people like this are treated compared to Black Lives Matter protesters, we should be calling for BLM to be treated with the same deference as is shown these Call of Duty cos-players. Not for the same brutality to be visited on the those at the Oregon facility. They crave martyrs and we shouldn’t give it to them.

  • muselet

    Years ago, Smithsonian ran an article on place names in Oregon (by the way, your sources are right, Bob, the last syllable is, perhaps ironically, pronounced “gun” and not “gone”). The only rule of thumb the author could provide was, however you think a name is pronounced, you’re wrong (the reason is that the names derive from English, French, Russian and several Native American languages).

    It figures Dan Bidondi would be caught up in the excitement of a gaggle of gun-humping seditionists taking over an unoccupied visitors’ center in the middle of nowhere. If he were on-site, he might be the bright one of the bunch (sort of like being the smartest of The Three Stooges).

    Chez, excellent trolling. Bidondi deserved all of it.

    Yeah, these idiots using the USPS for what I suppose they would call their supply lines is all kinds of stupid.

    Bob, the problem with sending poop is that postal workers would have to handle the boxes. Instead, here’s an idea for people with artistic talent who want to troll these pathetic loons (h/t Kevin Drum): mock up packaging for Cool Ranch Patritos and fill the bags with packing peanuts, then send them a case or two.

    I’m of two minds about the Cliven Bundy affair. On the one hand, when the BLM backed down it encouraged the gun-humping insurrectionists. On the other hand, doing anything else would have gotten a lot of people killed, including a lot of BLM employees who weren’t on the Nevada desert to become martyrs.

    Sweet mother of pearl, “mawkish” doesn’t begin to describe the audio of Jon Ritzheimer’s suicide video, and before anyone asks, hell no, I’m not going to watch it.

    What. A. Tosser.

    “Because nothing is more important in these people’s lives than their delusion.” Couldn’t agree more.

    Mandatory minimum sentences are a terrible idea made real because a bunch of Righties were irked three decades ago that Those People—variously defined—weren’t being left to rot in prison for long enough, which was of course the fault of Librul Activist Judges! However, as today’s Righties are wont to say, the law’s the law. Don’t like mandatory minimums for people you identify with? Join the un-American DFHs in pushing for their repeal for everyone, including people you don’t identify with (I’ve got a big picture of the saddos at Malheur doing any such thing).

    Guys, you missed the best part of Ritzheimer’s ridiculous video: right there in the title, he calls himself “Marine” (“BREAKING MESSAGE FROM MARINE JON RITZHEIMER! BLM ALERT!”). I wonder what this waste of carbon’s DI would have to say about that.

    “We may just play this every week.” Please don’t.

    As I commented earlier to Ashby, Alex Jones is covering his bets. If the armed doofuses do shoot it out with the feds, then he’s right and there were agents provocateurs among them; and if they surrender peacefully, Jones will praise them for forcing the tyrannical gummint to spend resources keeping them contained.

    Bob, did you have to use the word “turgid”? I laughed so hard I scared the neighbors’ cat.

    Guys, you have to admit, classical martial law is better than Top 40 martial law. That’s just a fact.

    The best way to deal with the dumb guys with guns is to point and laugh. Refuse to give them the tiny shred of dignity they so desperately want. Mockery is much more effective against people who are so deeply up their own arses. It will have no particular effect on the current crop of low-wattage seditionists, but it may make them less attractive as playmates for other disaffected dumb guys.


    • Aynwrong

      Also, mockery tends to draw less blood. Always the better call. In my opinion.

  • Don P

    Ammon — a son of Lot through incest with his daughter

    • josephebacon

      That’s what happens when you keep it all in the family…

  • josephebacon

    Chez is telling the truth about what will happen tomorrow when Obama issues his new gun orders. The Right is going to go in full meltdown mode!

  • Victor the Crab

    A Monday podcast? Christmas has come earl…oh wait, skip that part.

    Really enjoyed that podcast. You guys totally made fun of everybody you had your sights set on. Especially Bidondi and his misuse of the English language. Patritos sounds like a new product from Frito-Lay.

  • Patrick Malone

    I’m stealing this graphic.
    Just sayin’.