Bob and Chez Show

The Bob & Chez Show Presented By BubbleGenius.com 5/3/16

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Bob and Chez
Written by Bob and Chez

RELM_buttonFish Monster: The Indiana Primary; Bernie's Bizarre Delegate Math; Ted Cruz Admits to Beating His Children; Protester Calls Ted Cruz a Fish Monster; Carly Fiorina Falls Through a Trap Door; Trump Suggests Ted Cruz's Dad Was a JFK Conspirator; Ryan Grim Fights Jesse Watters; and more. Brought to you by Bubble Genius, the BobCesca.com Amazon Link and The Bowen Law Group.

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  • muselet

    I’ll spare everyone the full-length rant about political participation—you’re welcome—but if you don’t make the effort and vote, you and your interests will be ignored. The Religious Right learned that years ago and infiltrated the GOP structure from the bottom up, and has (until this year, and the rise of a certain vulgar talking yam) been successful and pulling the Republican Party in its direction.

    I’m not sure what’s going on with Bernie Sanders. He can’t possibly be delusional enough to think he can mau-mau Democratic superdelegates—the same superdelegates he’s been deriding as corrupt and anti-democratic (small-“d”) insiders thwarting The Will Of The People!—into supporting him. He has no realistic chance of keeping Hillary Clinton from being awarded enough pledged delegates to win the nomination. The Rs have their nominee, who has already started to take predictably childish shots at Clinton (and Donald Trump’s spokeswoman, Katrina Pierson, today claimed, in public and on purpose, that Hillary Clinton has “never been truly vetted before). Unless Sanders is planning a Ralph Nader-style third-party spoiler campaign, what he’s doing makes no sense.

    Bob, our glorious news media will never portray the Democratic Party as the grown-ups. Doing so would demolish too many carefully-constructed clichés, specifically including the infamous Both Sides idea.

    Bob, why am I not surprised your favorite Indiana movie is Breaking Away?

    I won’t bother needling you guys about your prognosticating powers—heck, I didn’t think Ted Cruz would drop out, either—but rest assured, we haven’t seen the last of Cruz as a presidential candidate. Lauren Fox at Talking Points Memo suggests Cruz is already positioning himself for 2020 as the True Conservative, “I told you so” candidate (“We’d have won if we’d nominated a real conservative!”).

    “I think we have a new Carly Fiorina sound.” You really think that’ll be useful, Bob? She’s not going to be a force in politics, after all.

    John Boehner tried the Pierson’s Puppeteer style of leadership and it didn’t work (and could I be a bigger nerd?): the TPers filleted Boehner rather than allow themselves to be placated. His strategy was doomed from the start because the TPers hate Barack Obama far more than they (pretend to) care about the nation. Not for the first time, I say Boehner would have been a modestly successful Speaker in normal times, but he had the misfortune to serve in abnormal times. But you all knew all of that.

    I have far more sympathy for John Boehner than Paul Ryan, who helped create and nurture the madness.

    “Ted Cruz is just a monster.” Yup.

    Cruz is a … erm … traditional father, and yeah, he’s damn’ proud that he spanks his daughters (it’s one of the things that endears him to the sort of person who would support him for President). I’m only surprised he doesn’t brag about making his daughters cut their own switches.

    As of this morning (the day after the Indiana primary), the short-fingered vulgarian insisted that of course he doesn’t believe Rafael Cruz had anything to do with Lee Harvey Oswald or the assassination of John Kennedy. During his campaign, has Trump managed to stick to a story, any story, longer than twelve hours?

    Fox News Channel started spinning the Ryan Grimm/Jesse Watters slap-fight this morning as an out-of-control liberal attacking a salt-of-the-earth Murcan. Silly but predictable.

    Watters has the perfect example of the German word backpfeifengesicht, and yes, that really does mean a face in need of a slap or punch (depending on the translation).

    (Bob, you missed Chez’s fucking at 42:50 and shitty at 44:42.)

    –alopecia

    • Aynwrong

      I know it’s wrong to take even morbid pleasure from this but it just seems so apt for Cruz. Not because I think he’s abusive. I just this kind of represents his utter self absorption.

      https://youtu.be/lZ444y_b0Vg

      • muselet

        I see that video and see too many people standing too close together on a small podium, and whoever that is—Rafael Cruz?—is pulling Ted and Heidi Cruz together in an awkward group hug. Someone was bound to get hit.

        On the other hand, it does seem odd that Cruz didn’t notice his hand and elbow connecting with his wife, and stop and apologize. That’s what a normal human being with normal human emotions would do.

        Overall, I’d say it was an accident, but his non-reaction does show a large measure of self-absorption.

        –alopecia

  • katanahamon

    Groan…I’m sure I wasn’t the only person in America to lose sleep last night. Bernie is really taxing my patience..this Trump thing has to be put down in the most efficient manner possible. It might not be the most productive thing, but Hillary might need to ask Bernie to be VP..he could always say no, but the optics would be good to unify the party, and if he said yes, the bots wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. At this point, grooming a VP for the future isn’t as important as making sure Dumpster doesn’t get to the White House.

  • Badgerite

    What’s more, the concerts at the White House have been soooooo Awesome. The best ever.
    And how many presidents can sing Al Green and pull it off?

  • Badgerite

    You know, if HRC takes the nomination on the first ballot, there is nothing very contested about it.
    What’s more, irregardless of one’s strategy for winning a nomination, to opine that you wish Hilary Clinton would be indicted without any regard to, you know, issues of justice as in has a crime actually been committed here, brings up character issues for me with regard to the person who is willing to opine that as a means of getting an advantage in a nomination contest. Law and justice, after all, is something that is supposed to stand alone without regard to race or creed ( one aspect of creed being your politics).
    This is the kind of thing I expect from Karl Rove.

    • Aynwrong

      Yeah, whatever happened to Bernie saying he was “sick and tired of damned E mails?!?”

      I think I got that quote about right.

      • Badgerite

        Yeah. What did happen to that?

  • The falling sound effect….it makes me giggle every time I think about it.

  • Aynwrong

    Well, Trump won Indiana and Cruz conceded. That means until Bernie drops out Hillary now has to fight a war on two fronts with Trump using every word that comes out of Bernie’s mouth to attack Hillary. And of course Bernie also won Indiana and is still saying he’s going all the way to the convention. That scenario where we all hoped it would be Hillary running opposed while the Republicans tore each other apart, just got flipped. I’ve had it with Bernie’s revolution.

    Yeah it was Concha slobbering all over Watters. Ridiculous as you would expect.

  • ProudLiberalAlways

    Great show! And you properly sum up the way around tRump with the phrase ‘Flattery will get you everywhere!’ He’s so needy, any little Kinda nice thing said to him will get you an inordinate amount of love back.
    Oh, and Bernie, God love him, needs to go now. His staying in at this point can only hurt Hillary and keep her from being able to focus on tRump. And that hurts the party.