Bob and Chez Show

The Bubble Genius Bob & Chez Show 5/12/15

Bob and Chez
Written by Bob and Chez

RELM_buttonBeef Smokin' Monster: Our First Tuesday Show; Sponsor our show via Patreon; Alex Jones, ABC News and Jade Helm; Jones Snubs ABC; Our exclusive audio from Alex Jones' surveillance camera; Sy Hersh and the Bin Laden Truther Conspiracy; Bionic Dan Bidondi's WWE Audition; Crazy Allen West is Crazy; and much more. Brought to you by Bubble Genius, the BobCesca.com Amazon Link and The Bowen Law Group.

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  • I was laughing so hard at the #BeefSmokingMonster bit, I had tears coming out of my eyes. At some points I couldn’t breath. Of course, my work neighbors didn’t appreciate Dan Bidondi’s gibberish or my muffled laughs.

    Except for his hatefulness and meanness, Biondi is almost a live action cartoon.

  • Don P

    Can we start a petition for the WWE to take him on the Tough Enough show just to see him get his butt get kicked for a week or three? I’m sure there are plenty of staffers in the WWE’s Connecticut offices that might like a word or two with him regarding Sandy Hook.

    And he’s try to say Beast Mode, but it’s coming out Beef Smoking Monster

  • Stephanie

    Okay, let’s clear this up. “Beef-smokin’ monster” is obviously a BDSM term that links to being a “submission specialist.” I thought maybe I heard “smooth” in there (obviously a reference to his swimmer’s-smooth bod) but no. It’s definitely “beef-smokin’ monster.”

    • Victor the Crab

      I thought it sounded like “beef smooth monster” myself, which would be hilarious itself given Bidondi’s standard vocabulary.

  • leemoder

    If only you could get away with “Beef-smokin’ monstah!” on a tshirt. But…”Mainyak!” would be hi-larious, too.

  • muselet

    Bob, Dan Bidondi is always kind of frightening.

    It’s hardly surprising that Alex Jones’s nonsense would appeal to Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz. Whatever virtues those two may possess, reason and logic are not among them.

    In 2004, Zell Miller addressed the Republican convention and argle-bargled for a depressing amount of time, coming within a micron of accusing every D in the country of treason for even dreaming of not reelecting George W Bush; he got a Fox News gig out of it (I referred to it at the time as his audition tape). In 2016, the bar has been lowered so much that whoever parrots Alex Jones’s inanities most faithfully will probably get a Fox News gig. (As Rupert Giles once said, admittedly in a slightly different context, “Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.”)

    ABC News committed journalistic malpractice by inviting Jones. Whoever thought that was a good idea should be fired, preferably out of a cannon.

    “Next on This Week: we talk with the homeless guy outside the 7-11 about the prospects of a nuclear agreement with Iran.”

    Jones clearly figured it would play better with his listeners if he didn’t go on any *scary music sting* MSM show, but I’m not sure of his reasoning. It would have been even better, I’d have thought, to go on the show and get pummelled, because then he could tell the Infowars crowd that the conspiracy runs even deeper than he thought! Regardless, he got exactly what he wanted.

    Seymour Hirsch at one point was a brilliant but annoying reporter. Since the 1980s or so, I’ve found it hard to take him seriously. I admire the man for what he’s done, but there’s no way I’d take a bet on whether his later reporting is accurate.

    “He really is our mascot.” Anything I could say at this point would be superfluous.

    “So, basically, it’s Dan Bidondi shirtless—” Words cannot describe the wave of nausea I just experienced. “—complete with sideboob. Lots and lots of Dan Bidondi sideboob.” *hurk*

    “Did he say he’s a beef-smokin’ monster?” He was in the middle of his rant about his wrestling moves, so I’m going to say no. It sounded more like “bistro” to me, but I know less than nothing about pro wrestling. (Bob, I think you’re right about “beast mode.” It makes as much sense as anything else.)

    I think “Bionic” Dan Bidondi was his wrestling nickname. I hope so, anyway.

    The scary part of that video is that he’s bragging about being 290 pounds. He claims to be 6’4″, but he can’t carry that much weight without serous risk to his health. (Yeah, I’m worrying about the health of a certifiable lunatic. Wanna make somethin’ of it?)

    “Allen West is an idiot.” In other news, water is wet and fire is hot.

    “Jeb Bush may be a relatively smart guy.” Objection, assumes facts not in evidence.

    And Jebbie misheard that question in the same way Dan Bidondi was a Rhodes Scholar.

    –alopecia

  • David Perkins

    Great Show.

    I googled around for “Don Bidondi” and got this!

    Some “dis-proving” of science he did 3 years ago.

    • muselet

      Holy cats, what a moron.

      –alopecia

    • HilaryB

      God bless that mental kid.

  • Villemar

    I’m seeing (and hearing) Mugsy from the old Warner Brothers cartoons now. “Daaaahhh…Okay boss!!!”

  • aynwrong

    I still say Bidondi looks like this guy. George the Animal Steel. Actually from the WWF (or whatever its called these days) and not some goofball wannabe like Bidondi.
    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4a7haHBudM8/maxresdefault.jpg

    • Villemar

      I recently re-watched Ed Wood and he was actually really great in the role as Tor Johnson; an acting role which would utilize much higher cognitive functions than Bidondi could ever hope to achieve.

      • I agree. He’s evidently a very nice, bright guy in real life.

        • Villemar

          Yeah! I was stuck trying to figure out the name of that character he played so I wiki’d him and it turns out George Steele got a Master’s Degree and taught and coached high school before he entered professional wrestling to supplement his income. A Master’s Degree. Meanwhile, I just got to Dan’s incoherent tirade, so hilarious! Beef Stroga(noff) Monsta! Daaaahhh…

    • HilaryB

      He reminded me of King Kong Bundy for some reason.

    • ranger11

      George the Animal kind of freaked me out when he started wrestling for the WWF. I was 12 or 13 at the time so a lot of things freaked me out, but still. He used to gnaw at the turnbuckles for chrissakes!