Bob and Chez Show

The Bubble Genius Bob & Chez Show 7/23/15

Bob and Chez
Written by Bob and Chez

RELM_buttonTell 'Em Uhhhh That We're Liars: Alex Jones Attacks Bob for his Planned Parenthood Article; Dan Bidondi Defends Trump's John McCain Remarks; Ben Carson Thinks Planned Parenthood is Eliminating Black People; Trump Might Run as a Third Party Candidate; Jeb Bush's Head Deflates, Says Medicare Should Be Phased Out; and much more. Brought to you by Bubble Genius, the BobCesca.com Amazon Link and The Bowen Law Group.

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  • Badgerite

    Maybe Andy Borowitz has pin pointed what is causing Chez’s writer’s block.
    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/many-in-nation-tired-of-explaining-things-to-idiots?intcid=popular
    Article entitled Many In Nation Tired of Explaining Things to Idiots.

  • Badgerite

    Why does Alex Jones always look like his head is about to explode?

    • muselet

      “Now that’s entertainment!”

      –alopecia

  • Don P

    Jeb Bush, combining his brother’s intelligence with Mitt Romney’s common man touch…The thing about almost the entire Repub. field is that they either implode or meltdown and attack with just the slightest pushback.

    Think of the Dan Bidondi’s of the world with chemical or biological weapons, which have to be maintained/ disposed of over time. Police find 40 year old chemical weapons in this survivalist’s garage.

    Trump is the logical conclusion of 50 years of chasing the Southern Strategy and knocking down campaign finance laws. You built this Reince!

  • WampusKat

    You’re right. Bidondi and Jones are practically indistinguishable. One sounds a bit more Bugs Bunny-ish than the other, otherwise they’re probably broadcasting out of the same underground bunker.

    Did I hear someone claim that Rand Paul is “moderate” compared to the rest of the GOP’s Family Guy lineup? Um, no… aside from being an out and proud white supremacist, he’s pretty much as certifiably insane as Ben Carson and Rick Santorum (or take your pick): http://religiondispatches.org/rand-paul-and-the-influence-of-christian-reconstructionism/

    Here’s something interesting: today I read a screed entitled “A Progressive Case for Donald Trump” penned by the editor of a progressive website (I’m not linking to it). It was pretty much a Gish Galloping ode to the ginger toupée slouching toward D.C.

    So, question: is there some sort of nihilistic need for people referring to themselves as progressive to continuously offer up fruit loop right-wingers as people to be seriously considered simply because they once or twice may have managed not to sound like serial killers? First it was Ron Paul, then Rand Paul, now it’s Donald Trump. Um… why?

    • muselet

      As I read it, that article can fairly be summarized as “the other Rs are worse.” And yes, sure, if you grade on a curve, Donald Trump looks almost not-mad, but that doesn’t actually constitute much of a case in his favor. Not the most incisive analysis I’ve ever seen.

      As for your larger question, dunno. Maybe it’s delusion (“That candidate said something not entirely divorced from reality. That means he’d be open to friendly persuasion on the crazy stuff he says.”) or maybe it’s desperation (“Finally! An R said something I agree with!”) or maybe it’s something else entirely (like Rachel Maddow’s crush on Mike Huckabee between his two presidential runs because he put on the persona of a nice guy). All I do know is that it’s annoying.

      –alopecia

  • josephebacon

    Bob & Chez, I’ve listened to this episode 4X already and it still leaves me in stitches especially your take on Ben Carson. Every time I hear Carson on TV, he reminds me of Mayberry’s Floyd the Barber on barbiturates!

  • I loved the part of the Alex Jones thing where he identifies MSNBC, Salon and Media Matters as “the establishment”.

    I’m not claiming I know what exactly “The Establishment” is, but I’ll bet dollars to dingleberries that Mr Jones will say it’s made up of any other assortment of entities when next it suits him &/or fits his “argument”. The guy has no soul and no honor.

    • WampusKat

      To Alex Jones, everyone outside his booby-trapped compound is “the establishment” – up to and including Walmart greeters. Any event occurring beyond his barbed wire enclosure is “a false flag.” That’s about all anyone needs to know to predict his next 10,000 shows.

  • leemoder

    Alex Jones is Les Nessman’s idealized self.

    • WampusKat

      To Alex Jones, everyone outside his booby-trapped compound is “the establishment”… up to and including Walmart greeters.

    • Don P

      Alex should be so lucky as to win one Buckeye News Hawhawk Award, let alone 5!

  • muselet

    Very professional open, Bob (adding: after hearing how Alex Jones’s engineer handles breaks, forget I said anything, even in jest).

    The notion that The People™ should have the same weaponry as the miliitary is utterly nuts. Can you imagine Dan Bidondi trying to fly an F-15? (He could, you know. Not for very long, and he’d make one hell of a crater when he screwed up, but for a few glorious seconds he’d be a Junior Birdman.) (For the record, I wrote that paragraph before you guys went there. I’m just too damn’ lazy to rewrite it.)

    Maybe it’s me (it’s probably me), but it sounded like Bidondi was emphasizing Senator John McCain to make it sound like The Mainstream Media—or whoever he’s being told is the villain of the day by the broadcasts he receives through his fillings—wants everyone to think a sitting Senator is beyond criticism. I’m not fluent in Incoherent Lunatic, so that’s a guess.

    “Tyrannical sonofabitch.” Guess who just learned a new phrase?

    (Repurposed Polack joke: Why was Dan Bidondi arrested for indecent exposure? Someone asked him to count to 21. *rimshot*)

    Donald Trump is not going to run as a third-party or independent candidate, if for no other reason than he’d have to stump up a considerable chunk of cash to do so. The short-fingered vulgarian has money (albeit nowhere near as much as he claims), but he’d have to be Dan Bidondi-level stupid to blow it all on a quixotic run for President. He’s trying to muscle the GOP into nominating him; of course, Bernie Sanders would eat his lunch and Hillary Clinton would crush him like a bitty little bug, but I’m sure The Donald would run a classy! campaign.

    At this point, sure, Trump is winning every news cycle. When the primaries start, watch the same reporters and media outlets (yeesh, I hate that term) who are now hanging on his every word because they find him amusing take a sudden interest in fact-checking him into oblivion because he’s not serious.

    I really hope I’m right about that.

    “Trump is putting on a show. He’s marketing a product, and that product is Trump.” Well said, Bob, but that’s what gives me a tiny sliver of hope: if he loses, that tarnishes his brand more than if he drops out in a blaze of … well, glory surely isn’t the right word, but I don’t know what the right word would be. Sooner or later, he’ll get bored and go back to working on his fifth business bankruptcy.

    I’d never thought of it this way, but the Rs’ plan for Medicare (and Social Security) is something out of a terrible movie.

    Jeb Bush is doing a terrible job of threading a needle. He has to make sure the current crop of geezers (who vote R) don’t get scared off, so he promises they’ll keep getting their Medicare. And he has to toe the R line that Medicare is an expensive boondoggle that must be eliminated as soon as possible. And he has to pretend the Rs have a plan to provide future geezers with something that resembles Medicare but not too much because Medicare is an expensive boondoggle. It’s no wonder he’s babbling.

    “… and in the most gramatically-awkward way possible.” Bob, he’s a Bush. It’s genetic.

    On Monday, Ed Kilgore at Political Animal (http://www.washingtonmonthly.com) highlighted this article, which demolishes the whole anti-Planned Parenthood video and the political outrage! over it. Science in general and medicine in particular can be, to use the author’s word, icky. If we start banning things because they’re icky, pretty soon there’s no medicine and no science. If I thought they were capable of it, I’d say the people who shot and misleadingly edited those videos should be ashamed of themselves.

    Ben Carson is either unimaginably credulous or a bald-faced liar, doesn’t much matter which, but he’s hardly being original. The Right has been peddling the “Margaret Sanger was a racist, therefore Planned Parenthood and women’s reproductive health are racist!” line for decades. Even if Margaret Sanger was a racist—and there is little evidence that she actually was—she died in 1966. Planned Parenthood has long been more than just its founder, who died nearly fifty years ago.

    Bob, you have a new title line for your business card: Dark Satire Comedy Writer.

    “God, the deflection on this is amazing.” Chez, that’s all Alex Jones has.

    “It’s basically the same guy with two different voices.” Yup.

    The stupidity of Dan Bidondi and Alex Jones is physically painful.

    (Bob, you missed Chez’s “shit” at 52:01.)

    –alopecia

    • captkurt

      As an alternative to ‘media outlet’, how about ‘media orifice’?

      • muselet

        That fits a lot of news organizations shockingly well—and I may well end up stealing it—but my problem is with the expression “media outlet” itself. It’s such a clunky and self-conscious lump of adspeak, it makes me cringe every time I encounter it.

        –alopecia

        • aynwrong

          For a lot of these “outlets” I prefer the term shit show myself. But to each his own.

  • Badgerite

    When are they going to start going after the League of Women Voters? They must be doing something evil. Evil Scum.

  • Badgerite

    Does Ben Carson also believe that HIV was created in a CIA lab as and taken to Africa to kill blacks?

  • Badgerite

    Four years from now, if Trump’s influence continues, we’ll have the Hunger Games. The GOP seems to be have this as their nominating process already.

  • HilaryB

    Uhhhhhhhhhh.

  • aynwrong

    Sadly we don’t have a media that is willing to describe the lies being told about Planned Parenthood accurately or as bluntly as you guys just did. Great job.

    By the way Bob, your show started with Bidondi and ended Jones, but in between you Ben Carson and Donald Trump. The modern GOP. Perfectly summed up.