Bob and Chez Show

The Bubble Genius Bob & Chez Show 9/30/15

Bob and Chez
Written by Bob and Chez

RELM_buttonReagan: The 13 Most Punchable Faces in Politics; Republicans Mansplain and Hector Planned Parenthood President; Jason Chaffetz Gets Owned by Cecile Richards; Carly Fiorina Caught Lying Again; Ted Cruz is Butthurt; Ted Cruz Makes Crazy Yalping Noises; Trevor Noah on The Daily Show; Bob's Russian Movers; and much more. Brought to you by Bubble Genius, the BobCesca.com Amazon Link and The Bowen Law Group.

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  • Emily333

    My but the testosterone does flow, with all this talk of punching.

  • Draxiar

    Gollum Baby Voice for the win!

  • muselet

    Yes, Bob, but Vlado needed the desk more than you. You want to make Vlado angry? Vlado has reputation. You not want to find out about Vlado’s reputation.

    Bob Cesca is Rick Wakeman? It’s all making sense now.

    Nothing says “outreach to women” more than asking a (fairly prominent) woman questions and then repeatedly interrupting her answers. Clearly the GOP is out to be exclusively the party of aging, white, rural, borderline-racist misogynists, and good luck to them.

    Jason Chaffetz had spent several minutes asking about budgetary details that no sane person whose job didn’t include doing so would bother to keep track of (I think that’s actually a sentence, all evidence to the contrary). Asking about Cecile Richards’s salary was just part of a long series of silly questions about money (Chaffetz doesn’t seem to understand how money works).

    The Rs would have had plenty of time, except they all had a bunch of supposed gotcha questions to get through so the folks back home could see how much they grrrr! hate Planned Parenthood.

    Bob, as Amanda Marcotte said yesterday, at greater length and with more (fully deserved) outrage, as far as Rs are concerned, mammograms are the only healthcare women need. Everything else is either immoral or icky and isn’t really medicine.

    Once more, as Cerberus at Sadly, No! said, “Any woman who votes for the Republican Party for any reason is a fucking moron at this point. I’m sorry ladies, but they couldn’t make it any more obvious that they hate you without being the director from A Serbian Film.”

    I enjoyed watching Chaffetz’s face when Cecile Richards informed him of the source of his precious abortions-and-breast-exams chart. He recovered quickly, but he definitely suffered an “oh, shit!” moment. The meeting with his staffers after the hearing must have been lots of fun.

    (Incidentally, I’m the last person to make fun of anyone else’s appearance, but every time I see Jason Chaffetz I am reminded of Douglas Adams’s description of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz:

    Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was not a pleasant sight, even for other Vogons. His highly domed nose rose high above a small piggy forehead.

    That’s from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, for the uninitiated.)

    Carly Fiorina is, as I’ve been saying for the last few days, either a liar or a bullshitter. At this point, I don’t much care.

    There is no downside for Fiorina in prevaricating. It won’t help—she’ll never be President—but it also won’t hurt. If she gets a 0.1% bump in the polls, that’s worth whatever fallout may come from the untruths.

    Ted Cruz really needs to go away. His colleagues in the Senate hate him. Legislatively, he’s useless. Even Rand Paul (Rand Paul!) looks down at him. He cares nothing for the institution of the Senate. But it doesn’t matter, because he gets to stand up in front of CSPAN’s cameras and bloviate; for him, that’s a win.

    Bob, that collection of Ted Cruz’s primal screams (“Reagan!”) is the most sense the man has ever made on the floor of the Senate.

    There is a gap in political comedy/commentary, true. There was a gap before Jon Stewart hit the air. It’s possible someone unexpected—who predicted Stephen Colbert before his show debuted?—will show up and do more than Stewart did. Trevor Noah may be that person. Give him time.

    I agree with most of TBogg’s list (I’m happy to report I’ve never heard of a couple of candidates), although I’d change the order a bit and quite possibly recommend the use of a tire iron—or, if you’re a traditionalist, a bag of nickels—on Bloody Bill Kristol (“the Cheshire Cat on ‘ludes” is a perfect description, Chez) and Jesse Watters; Joe Scarborough, I’d prefer to hit with a car.

    (Bob, you missed your “shit” at 29:10. Hey, for once it’s not Chez. Oops, spoke too soon, Chez says “fucking” at 52:34.)

    –alopecia

  • Zach Rosenberg

    Just a note for you guys: Roosh Valizadeh is a guy who is a confessed rapist in one of his books. He more or less bragged about how he targeted a woman who was too drunk to consent, stated flat out that in America sex with her would’ve been rape, but then said “having sex is what I do.”

    Seriously. Fuck that guy.

  • Ford A. Thaxton

    FYI, the show isn’t live on ITUNES as of 6:36pm (LA Time)

  • Aynwrong

    How did Rich Lowery’s face of eminent privileged, smug, white guy douchebagery escape the punchable list?

    • Scopedog

      To be fair, Rand Paul wasn’t included either….and neither was Trey Gowdy.

      • Aynwrong

        Or Trump. That’s a pretty big oversight.

        • Scott

          Hannity’s always been high on my list. His face, even the airbrushed-to-shit-and-back version on his book covers*, has that perfect combination of smarm and dough that makes a really punchable face.

          * Such a warm feeling when I see a stack of shitty Hannity or Coulter books on the remainder table or in the 50c library sale.

          • Aynwrong

            Ooooh…good choice. Also, good for getting a fire going out in the back.

  • Aynwrong

    To paraphrase Rich Lowery of all people:

    “Last debate, At the bullshit select committee let’s be honest, Carly Cecile Richards cut his balls off with the precision of a surgeon and he Jason Chafettz knows it.”