The Gohmert Thinks Hammers are Assault Weapons

The magnificent stupidity of Louie Gohmert on the Dennis Miller Show:

"I refuse to play the game of 'assault weapon.' That’s any weapon. It’s a hammer. It’s the machetes. In Rwanda that killed 800,000 people, an article that came out this week, the massive number that are killed with hammers."

No see, hammers are made for building things, whereas assault rifles are, by definition, designed to kill people. This is an important distinction. Likewise, sure, Gohmert's head is round and soft like a grapefruit, but it's clearly not an actual grapefruit. Get it?

  • It’s important that whenever these fools make this argument, we always point out that the knife or hammer or bat were made to do certain things that do not involve killing and that and that the only thing any firearm can EVER do is to kill or maim.

  • zirgar

    Also, too, Göhmertdämmerung!

  • Well, that explains this:

    Appearing on an episode of the NRA news show The Daily News on Wednesday, Hammer concluded a discussion of the prospects on gun control initiatives prompted by the Newtown, Conn. massacre by drawing a comparison between attempts to ban guns and racism.

    “And they even admit this is about banning the ugliest guns, it’s about cosmetics and it has nothing to do about how a firearm works,” host Ginny Simone said toward the end of the segment.

    “Well, you know, banning people and things because of the way they look went out a long time ago,” Hammer responded. “But here they are again. The color of a gun. The way it looks. It’s just bad politics.”

  • zirgar

    Yeah, but Louie, no one grabs a hammer or a brick when they wanna go slaughter a group of people, do they? What do they use? Assault rifles, and submachine guns, you dolt. And if we ban assault rifles and other such weapons, I seriously doubt that anyone will take a hammer to the mall to start a massacre, and if they did, someone at the mall could defend himself/herself against that a lot more effectively than against a tool used to kill lots of people very quickly in an indiscriminate manner. Louie “The Hahmmert” Gohmert is dumber than a bag full of them.

    Also, in Rwanda, yes, machetes were used, but so were rifles. In fact, lots of people were held in place with the fear of being shot while they were slaughtered by machete. Neighbor was forced to turn on neighbor to do horrible things, under the threat of being murdered if they did nothing. Yes, technically machetes were used, but the situation was of such an extreme nature as to be an obscene, horrific singularity, and hardly the simplistic one used by Gohmert to justify assault weapons.

  • muselet

    Maybe we should work to make Louie Gohmert’s nickname “Hammerhead.”


    • Nefercat

      Or “Grapefruithead.”

      • muselet

        That works, too.


  • Victor_the_Crab

    A hammer is more intelligent and has better common sense than teh Louie Gohmert.

  • delosgatos

    Teh stupid, it burns…

    As an aside, I hate this kind of construction:

    “…8,775 people who were murdered with guns, compared to 540 people who were killed with blunt objects, a small minority of which were people armed with hammers. The exponentially-higher number of people killed by guns…”

    “Exponential” refers to a growth rate. Using it to mean “this number is much larger” is dumb.