Election 2016

The Savior Has Returned

The man himself has not made it official yet as of this writing, but it looks like Marco Rubio is running for reelection after previously swearing he wasn’t going to.

The man running to replace Rubio said this morning that he will drop out of the race to make way for Rubio’s reelection.

“I have unfinished business. We have unfinished business together,” Jolly wrote in a Facebook post announcing his decision. “Today I’m asking you for the opportunity to keep doing my job. I ask for your support in seeking reelection to the House of Representatives.”

Jolly will now likely face off against former Gov. Charlie Crist (D) in Florida’s 13th district, which was redrawn last year.

Rubio first hinted that he may run again earlier this week when the infamous gay rights opponent said the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub inspired him to serve his community.

The only possible takeaway from this series of events is that a mass shooting at a gay nightclub reminded Senator Rubio, who may or may not be a shape-shifting lizard, that opposing gay rights in Congress is his higher calling.

Marco Rubio is a walking stereotype of a politician. Nothing he says is genuine. He has no clear principles or morals. He’s ineffective and incompetent. He’s also personally responsible for turning this election season into a literal dick joke.

The good news for all of us is that we may get to enjoy the sight of Rubio losing twice in one year. Rubio will be running for reelection with Donald Trump at the top of the ticket in a state that Trump is likely to lose very badly.

rubiotime

  • muselet

    PPP:

    Rubio remains very unpopular in Florida- only 30% of voters approve of him to 49% who disapprove of the job he’s doing. Among critical independent voters he’s even more unpopular than he is with the electorate as a whole- a 26/55 spread.

    At the end of the poll we did a simple informed horse race, after telling respondents that Rubio has opposed barring people on the Terror Watch List from buying firearms and that he’s opposed requiring criminal background checks for those wanting to buy firearms. Murphy’s initial 42/41 lead over Rubio ballooned all the way up to 47/32 based on his position on those gun issues.

    Soon, we may not have Marco Rubio to kick around any more. *rapturous applause*

    –alopecia

  • Aynwrong

    Marco Rubio will be the Senate candidate who is supporting Donald Trump for the White House despite the fact that he called Trump a “con artist” and said Trump should not be entrusted with nuclear codes.

    https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/vxtnkssv9uhlfxz8waxv.gif

    Pass the popcorn.

    • JMAshby

      There’s also that whole thing where he said Trump has a tiny dick and occasionally pisses his pants.

      • Aynwrong

        Well…yeah there’s that.

      • Toolymegapoopoo

        That was obviously just taken out of context. 😉

    • Christopher Foxx

      Marco Rubio will be the Senate candidate who is supporting Donald Trump for the White House despite the fact that he called Trump a “con artist” and said Trump should not be entrusted with nuclear codes.

      Something that, alas, doesn’t doesn’t make him unique among Trump’s new “supporters”.