Food Super Stupid

They’re Coming After Your Sprinkles!

Were you planning to make Christmas cookies with your children next year? Well too bad, that darn Obama is coming for your cookies.

Christmas is behind us, but the war on next Christmas has only just begun.

via TPM

“If you’re making some cookies once a year with your kids on the holidays, that’ll be banned.” – Fox & Friends host Clayton Morris

It’s a slippery slope. One moment they’re banning your sprinkles and the next minute they may force feed you broccoli. Where does it end?

As you might have guessed, you will still be able to stuff your face with sprinkled doughnuts and Christmas cookies after the new year. It is possible to create sprinkles without using trans fat and that is exactly what the industry will do if it is necessary.

You will not be banned from making cookies with your kids. You will not be banned from purchasing or consuming sprinkles.

Anyone remember this from last year?

PAUL: It’s about freedom of choice. It’s about freedom. It’s about whether you should have the liberty to buy something. What comes after healthcare? Somebody might someday say we’re gonna ban the Big Gulp, how would that be? Oh that’s right they already did that, sorry.

What’s next? We got healthcare, we got the Big Gulp, you name it. They’re coming after your doughnuts. Did you hear they’re coming after the trans-fat in your doughnuts.

True liberty is having the option to purchase sprinkles with trans fat rather than sprinkles without trans fat.

Good times.

  • SparksinTexas

    Didn’t Fox News gets this article from a Satire in the Arizona Conservative blog?

  • Nefercat

    You’d think that their eagerness to celebrate their Fat Jeebus-given right to gorge endlessly on whatever the fattiest, emptiest, junkiest calories they can find would lead logically to demand unlimited free health care to deal with the resulting and inevitable health problems, wouldn’t you?

    Oh, wait. They’re morons. Never mind.

  • muselet

    If Clayton Morris had a gun to his head—or some other, more vital, body part—he couldn’t define what a trans fat is or explain his apparent opinion that the consumption of trans fats is not a health concern, yet he feels moved to read the script someone handed him opine that the FDA requiring food producers to reduce trans fats in their products is a bad thing because reasons.

    The brighter of the chittering creatures in Righty media probably realize, dimly, that they’re self-parodies. As long as the checks keep clearing, though, they’ll keep saying ridiculous things.


  • GrafZeppelin127

    At some point I’m just going to lose my sh** and go of on one of these people. These childish delusions of persecution are absolutely infuriating.

    • JMAshby

      Really? I laugh and laugh and laugh at this stupid shit. I laughed harder while compiling this post than I have in weeks

      • GrafZeppelin127

        Probably the better approach. I’m just so sick of outrage porn.

  • Badgerite

    Just buy 2 medium gulps and you have one Big Gulp. Problem solved.

    • muselet

      You assume they can count to two.


      • Badgerite

        LOL. My mistake. Let’s hope they learn that trick in 2015.

  • You’d think these rabid fools could come up with something better to rant about. But nooooo………they must ALWAYS fucking play to the lowest common denominator.