Child President

Trump Cancels His Parade, Blames Local Lawmakers

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

CNN first reported last night the Trump's military parade had been delayed by the Pentagon until sometime next year, but Trump abruptly took to Twitter this morning to claim that he "cancelled" it.

In any case, Trump didn't just claim that he cancelled it out of concern for the high costs, he blamed local lawmakers in Washington D.C. for the high costs.


In a report that was leaked to the media yesterday, the Pentagon estimated that Trump's parade would cost at least $92 million, far more than Trump's original estimate of just $12 million. And by their calculations, the bulk of that cost could be attributed to logistics, security, and temporary duty pay for the service members who participate in the parade.

The most you could credibly say is that local officials in D.C. may have provided far higher security costs than the White House originally estimated, but this was Trump's idea. It was going to be his parade. No one else wanted or asked for it. The "local politicians" weren't looking for a "windfall."

By the way, the difference between a $92 million parade and a $12 million parade wouldn't even pay for a single fighter jet. The piece of shit F-35 costs more than $85 million per plane.

Moreover, money for jets has already been appropriated by Congress. The money that would have paid for Trump's parade wouldn't come out of defense program budgets.

Trump has no idea what he's talking about, as usual.

  • sawadee2000

    Gee, and I was SO looking forward to seeing our Dear Leader straddling a nuke, like Slim Pickings did in Dr. Strangelove!

    Maybe Trump can cozy up to his fuck buddy Vlad in Moscow for the next May Day parade. I’m sure Putin would enjoy watching his little cock holster further debase himself in public.

  • muselet

    I thought Donald Trump was a multi-billionaire. Surely he could pay the $92 million tab for his oh-so-important yay me! parade and never miss the money.

    Right?

    –alopecia

  • I LOVED the Mayor of DC’s response on Twitter…so much shade.

    Yup, I’m Muriel Bowser, mayor of Washington DC, the local politician who finally got thru to the reality star in the White House with the realities ($21.6M) of parades/events/demonstrations in Trump America (sad).

    • muselet

      That was some epic trolling from Muriel Bowser’s. Brava!

      –alopecia

  • Draxiar

    They probably used the same “math” for the parade cost that they used for the new embassy in Jerusalem (y’know the one that cost less than a house?).

  • katanahamon

    Hah! Hah, hah, and HAH! Jerkoffs wanting some asinine flag waving false patriotic bullshit while our vets with blown off limbs can’t get opioids because of the opioid “crisis.” Forced all of us pain patients to purchase the Narcan pens (two doses) for like 160 bucks, yet overdoses are at an all time high, higher than last year. Stop punishing pain patients and making money off us for big pharma while the real problem goes unchecked. But, I digress..yeah, perhaps “Space Force” will be next to be canceled!!

  • Aynwrong

    Thank you, whoever you are that exposed the real cost of this obscenity and thus preventing yet another embarrassment on the global stage, thank you.

    • Tony Lavely

      But I wonder how much of that $92M has already been spent, even before the cancellation?

  • David Greenberg

    How many different ways can you say asshole.

    • Nefercat

      Only one way is necessary. “What a trump!” people in future years will say, in regard to someone completely worthless. “Stop being such a trump!” “Such trumpholery!

      It will be considered amusing that in days of old, people referred to jerks as assholes, denigrating something vital to human existence, very useful, and that everyone has.

      • KanaW

        I really, really, really hope this comes true! It’s a perfect revenge for what he’s been doing.

    • Victor the Crab

      How about “What an unwiped Drumpf!!!”

  • Username1016

    Well, saves me a trip to DC to stand beside the parade route with a sign reading something like “Yay for our troops and sorry you have to put up with this B.S.” I had it marked on my calendar and everything 🙂