Super Stupid

What Could Go Wrong?

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Texas recently made it legal to hunt wild pigs from the safety of a helicopter, but some lamwakers want to go further.

State Representative Mark Keough apparently believes Texans could cull the pig population more efficiently if they could also hunt them with hot air balloons.

His House Bill 3535 would authorize Texans to hunt feral hogs and coyotes from a hot air balloon with a permit.

If the idea seems crazy, that’s because it is. No one hunts from a hot air balloon. Go ahead, Google it. “I haven’t found people anywhere doing this,” Keough admits.

But he thinks it would be pretty damn sweet to try. (It’s currently illegal, or he would’ve tried already, he said.)

Sweet!

  • Ken Kohl

    Too bad the proposal is for hot air balloons and not hydrogen balloons. That would be worth the price of admission

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    I’m as anti-gun as anyone I’ve ever met or read. That being said, I don’t have a problem with this. A gun nut firing a rifle within feet of an explosive fuel source? Sounds like a winning combination. Unfortunately, these yokels probably like to bring their kids along with them.

  • ninjaf

    How many different ways do they want to be able to kill animals? FFS!

  • muselet

    Feral hogs are a serious problem, no question. They cause considerable damage and can be extremely dangerous. Any reasonable idea to control and reduce their population should be given due consideration.

    Hunting the things from hot air balloons is not a reasonable idea. In fact, it barely rises—you should pardon the expression—to the level of an unreasonable idea. Balloons can’t be steered, fly slowly, are fragile (and as such are vulnerable to trees and, well, bullets), get buffeted by wind, and require a sizable ground crew to keep them flying. Practical, it ain’t.

    In fact, the whole thing sounds like a Monty Python sketch poking fun at inbred British Empire-era aristocrats (“Fancy a spot of shooting, Sir Alvie? There are deer in these parts and I just bought a new hot air balloon.” “Oh, jolly good, Lord Bricabrac. Sounds a right lark to me.”).

    Keough, who said he’s “interested in anything that will help us get rid of these things,” believes his bill represents the spirit of Texas.


    “We’ve got a problem here, and we are willing to fix it ourself,” he said. “We have that Western, swashbuckling, cowboying type of way to deal with things. It’s part of the culture, it’s different than any other state.”

    Quoted without comment.

    –alopecia

    • Aynwrong

      Don’t forget the alcohol. You just know it’s going to be involved.

      I’m not sure who I feel sorrier for. The pigs or the foolish souls who take this ride.

  • Username1016

    Sucks to be a coyote or a pig. I’m sure the appear of balloons is that they don’t make a warning noise, so those critters will be toast.

  • Aynwrong