Author - JumpyPants


Real Issues Vs. Nonsense

Posted by John Christian Plummer Anchor babies and terror babies and Obama birther theories and Louie Gohmert's talkathon rages are nonsense. Sorry, they just are. I know there are some human lives hanging in the balance in these pretend issues. Real people who are American citizens in Arizona are...

President Obama

Victory for Dialogue

Posted by JumpyPants The President won the Nobel Peace Prize. The scale of this honor is hard to measure, but he's only the third sitting president to do so. The first was Teddy Roosevelt, and the second Woodrow Wilson, who founded the League of Nations, which became the United Nations, which is an...

Congress Healthcare Iraq Jobs

Connecting the Dots

Posted by JumpyPants The President today connected two big dots: Health Care Reform and Job Creation. "...reforming our health insurance system will be a critical step in rebuilding our economy so that our entrepreneurs can pursue the American dream again and our small businesses can grow and...

Congress Healthcare The Media

David Letterman Has Sex and Health Care

Posted by JumpyPants I was driving past the Ed Sullivan Theater a few hours ago looking for a parking space, and on literally every one of the 8 corners near the theater was at least one camera crew. Yes, the MSM is nearly tripping over itself to cover a story about a celebrity who had consensual...


Props to David Brooks, Egad

Posted by JumpyPants When I went to sleep last night dreaming of Max Baucus and Blanche Lincoln cast in a production of Sartre's No Exit that would run non-stop for the rest of their natural (sic) lives, I had no idea I would wake up to read something written by David Brooks that I would find...


The Coward Rick Santelli Defends AIG Bonuses

No, really. He did. Today. Yep. This from the patron saint of the tea bag revolution. You know what? Come to think of it, the Sons of Liberty should've put the finances of the East India Company into perspective, too. After all, to quote George Costanza, what's "duty" anyway? It's like sales tax...


The Obama Recession

Whoops! The number of new housing projects that builders broke ground on in February rose sharply, defying economists' forecasts for yet another drop in activity. The Commerce Department reported Tuesday that construction of new homes and apartments jumped 22.2 percent from January to a seasonally...

The Media

Beck’s Audience Can Read?

David Frum: The audience for Beck’s Friday night special were each given copies of two books. One of them was Cleon Skousen’s Five Thousand Year Leap. Skousen, who died in 2006, is one of the legendary cranks of the conservative world, a John Bircher, a grand fantasist of theories about secret...

The Media

Beck’s Ratings

They're saying that Glenn Beck's ratings on FOX News Channel are good, as opposed to Glenn Beck's formerly sucky ratings on Headline News. Nevertheless, I have a complicated theory to explain this. Here goes: If you say deliberately outlandish and crazy things every day, people tend to stop and...

The Media

The Beck Files

Glenn Beck and his punch-me face are plagiarizing conspiracy theories from the X-Files. I'm not making this up. WARNING: watch the video clip from FOX & Friends at your own risk. Beck massaging his balls just before the commercial break was weird and disturbing. But Doocy's line about...

The Media

What’s Wrong with this FOX News Clip?

Give up? That Biden bit wasn't from a "recent" event. It was from the campaign. In September. Oh, and Biden was quoting John McCain. Here's the full quote: Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that’s why John McCain could say with a straight face as recently as this morning and this is a quote, “the...

Open Thread

No Wait!

This is the Doof Quote of the Day: "We are cooling. We are not warming. The warming you see out there, the supposed warming, and I am using my finger quotation marks here, is part of the cooling process. Greenland, which is now covered in ice, it was once called Greenland for a reason, right?"...

The Media

Cable News: Wrong Again

Is President Obama doing too much? Pew Research Poll: Trying to address too many issues at once - 35% Focusing on too few issues - 4% Doing about right - 56%

Open Thread

Prime Time Thread

Open thread for mocking the constant variety of cable news hackery and so forth. Tonight! The Republicans want tax cuts for AIG's Edward Liddy. Seriously.


Doof Quote of the Day

"It's the conservative weekly Human Events. And in the lead article this week, they call it Obama's brazen deception to sell agenda. Essentially the point you just made, that they have, under the umbrella of an economic crisis, you must support us, there is urgency to act now, that they are...



How did this slip through the blogotubing cracks? Frank Gaffney of the neoconservative think tank Center for Security Policy on Thursday's edition of Hardball: There‘s also circumstantial evidence, not proven by any means, but nonetheless some pretty compelling circumstantial evidence of Saddam...

Republican Party

Keep Digging

Michele Bachmann after being called on her earmark lie: Well, the average earmark I think for the state of Minnesota for the members of Congress is somewhere around 70,000– $70 million, so mine is very, very small on that level and that’s in the first two years that was in. Yeah, but the other day...


Tea Baggery

It occurs to me that the tag bag revolutionaries are mostly middle class people protesting against a tax increase for rich people. I say "mostly" because, statistically speaking, the Obama tax cuts benefit 95 percent of workers. So in other words, people who are receiving an immediate tax cut are...