Big Government: Maine GOP Tells People What to Eat

The conservative fad of telling poor people what to eat has reached the state of Maine where Governor Paul LePage (R) is pushing a bill that would prohibit you from using food stamps to purchase "prepared foods."

I figured "prepared foods" meant fresh soups, salads, and sandwiches from the deli, but apparently it goes much further than that.

The legislation LePage supports claims that “the purchase of unhealthy products is antithetical to the purpose of the [food stamps] program.” [...]

The law goes even further than the tax code to prohibit food stamps from being used for bulk purchases of groceries that could be considered “prepared food” if they were bought individually. According to state tax guidelines, that includes packaged deli meats, large jars of spaghetti sauce, and pickles, among other things.

Not only is buying a sandwich from the deli out of the question, so is buying a package of fucking bologna to make a sandwich yourself

With a large jar of spaghetti sauce you can easily prepare enough pasta to feed a family of four for a few dollars, but apparently that would also be out of the question.

It's not clear what these restrictions would leave you with. Raw meat may be acceptable but I'm not sure if bread is because bread is prepared. You may have to purchase the items necessary to make your own bread unless those are also banned. You'll also need to purchase cucumbers and vinegar to make your own pickles. You can easily prepare these items after your grueling 12-hour shift, right?

They told me Michelle Obama was going to force us all to eat broccoli but she may not get the chance if big government conservatives beat her to it.

How are we suppose to drink our Big Gulps in protest if we can't buy Big Gulps?