BREAKING: Obama Attacks Old Lady!

Barack Obama bumped into an old lady while campaigning in a supermarket in Madison, WI today, and the old lady was "banged up pretty bad," said shopper/Clinton campaign advisor Howard Wolfson. The old lady in question, Mabel Steinkowitz, said she did have a bruise on her arm, but that it might have been from "when [she] fell while shoveling snow. I don't think it was from Senator Obama, who said he was sorry." Hillary Clinton campaign strategist Mark Penn countered, saying, "Did Senator Obama hurt this old lady by giving her a Charley Horse or by not providing her a health care plan that will treat her injuries or by not balancing the budget because of his lack of experience so that she has to pay higher taxes and can't hire a skilled Latino legal immigrant to shovel her snow isn't the issue. The issue is that Senator Obama hurts old ladies."

I'm sorry, I just can't resist posting these slightly fake news stories because they just pop into my head after reading the actual news stories that show how painfully desperate the Clinton camp is to do anything and everything to smear Obama/"win" the primary.