Conspiracy Theory Movies

Ron Johnson’s Conspiracy Theory

Wisconsin senator and man who sued his own staff members Ron Johnson (R) is about a year late on this, but he's sounding the alarm over the Lego Movie.

Johnson told a local reporter for that the animated film was actually a clever piece of anti-business propaganda which, according to him, was created for the explicit purpose of brainwashing American children.

Johnson said the latest evidence of this propaganda campaign is "The Lego Movie," in which the bad guy is a heartless businessman intent on destroying the world for profit. "That's done for a reason," Johnson said. "They're starting that propaganda, and it's insidious."

Go on.


At a separate event earlier this month, video of which was posted to YouTube Thursday, Johnson recalled a phone conversation with a father who'd recently been assaulted by the same type of propaganda. Typically, when senators are calling people they don't know well -- it's known as "call time" -- they're fundraising. "I actually called a gentleman, it was a couple months ago, he was so upset, he took his children to an animated movie ... guess who the villain was? Evil Mr. Businessperson. It's insidious. That propaganda starts very early," said Johnson.

I have my doubts that an adult human being actually spoke to Ron Johnson about the fucking Lego Movie or, for that matter, had deep concerns about the nature of the villain of said movie, but he's right about one thing: you do have to catch'em early.

If we're going to convert unsuspecting children into anti-business, socialist zealots, the best way to do that is to take them to a corporate-owned movie theater and pay money to a corporation to see a movie based on a corporate-owned toy brand that will be preceded by at least half an hour of advertisements produced by other corporations. And in this optimal environment where brainwashing will occur, even the request to silence your cellphone will be branded by a corporation.

It's science.