Family Values the Lunch Box. Family Values the Breakfast Cereal.

Tim Murphy of Mother Jones posted a collection of conservative swag and conspiracy-theorist paraphernalia being sold and distributed at this year's World's Worst Persons Convention (CPAC).

As you might expect, the items that can be found at the convention wouldn't be out of place at a reunion for the John Birch Society. Here's a couple of my favorites.

This one is a t-shirt promoting the troops who were filmed pissing on dead Afghans.

And this one is really interesting. This is a book written in defense of the British Empire. I suppose if you think "anti-colonialism" is a bad thing, this book will speak to you.

Other works of genius, such as the "End the Fed" and "Bitch, Why'd You Taze Me?" bumperstickers can be found here.

Maybe I'm biased, but I don't see any real conservative value in any of the products or ideas being promoted at CPAC. At least, not in the traditional sense of what it means to be conservative.

CPAC is a Birch Society-sponsored session of vacation bible school held at a UFO convention.