Child President

Foreign Officials Urged to Treat Trump Like a Toddler

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Among other things, foreign officials have been encouraged to praise Trump's electoral college win and compare him favorably to President Obama during his first overseas trip.

Foreign hosts are also preparing a special meal just for him.

Trump's hosts on his upcoming trip are well-aware of his aversion to travel and are trying to make accommodations to keep him happy.

In Saudi Arabia, people with knowledge of the planning for Trump's trip say the caterers are planning to offer the president steak and ketchup alongside the lamb and hefty portions of rice on the menu. All the meat will have been butchered in a Shariah-compliant halal manner as per Islamic custom.

Imagine being offered some of the finest cuisine in the entire world only to turn it down in favor of well-done steak and Heinz.

My 8-year-old niece has a more sophisticated palate than Trump, but I suppose the buried lede is that Trump will be eating Shariah-compliant meat. Gasp!

Trump's staff have also reportedly scheduled a regular amount of "downtime" on each leg of his trip. You know, for taking naps and watching TV.

  • muselet

    Donald Trump is 70 years old and very set in his ways. He’s not going to expand his palate now, even if that means being insulting to his hosts.

    I’m only surprised the Saudis aren’t planning to provide him with McDonald’s as an alternative to actual food.

    –alopecia

  • Username1016

    Cuisine, not cousin! Even Trump doesn’t eat people’s cousins (I hope).

    • JMAshby

      sigh, it’s been a very, very long week

  • Draxiar

    Oh good gravy…I’m sorry…it prefers ketchup instead. Again, I hope they treat him like shit.

  • Big dumb orangutan gets cranky without his nappy (with apologies to orangutans)