Isn't Alaska a red state?

51 to 49. This was the margin of passage for raping the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge. 51 senators said, "You know. Despite our massive potential for historically groundbreaking innovations in alternative fuel technology, we're going to take a destructive, knee-jerk path towards becoming (slightly) more energy independent."

So what's next on the Republican ass-backwards-solutions agenda?

We've already heard the "save Social Security by killing it" idea and that kinda died an hilariously painful death. Before that, there was the "Healthy Forest Initiative" which effectively called for cutting down forests in order to save them. Doy!

Up next?

PROBLEM: Tsunamis and potential global warming floods.

REPUBLICAN SOLUTION: In order to prevent another catastrophic tsunami, Republicans have proposed draining all oceans. The bonus? No global warming floods.

PROBLEM: Every day, mad cow disease threatens the health and welfare of the American carnivore's appetite for steriod and hormone saturated red meat.

REPUBLICAN SOLUTION: Harvest African mountain gorilla bushmeat. The bonus? McDonalds and the Bush family get a Summertime cross-promotion: the McBush sandwich. The ad copy writes itself... "You'll go APE for the new McBush!" Or, "President Bush says: 'Put the McBush on your families!'"

Congratulations, red state Republican voters. You're awesome. And smart!