Gohmert Shares His Deepest Fantasies About Gays in the Military

The problem with gays in the military, Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) tells us, is that they won’t be prepared to fight because they’ve been giving and receiving hand jobs all day.

GOHMERT: “I’ve had people say, ‘Hey, you know, there’s nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks. Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it’s a different kind of fighting, it’s a different kind of war and if you’re sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you’re not going to last very long. It’s guerrilla fighting. You are going to be ultimately vulnerable to terrorism and if that’s what you start doing in the military like the Greeks did … as people have said, ‘Louie, you have got to understand, you don’t even know your history.’ Oh yes I do. I know exactly. It’s not a good idea”

I’m a little confused.

Gohmert appears to be saying gay Greeks were effective because they fought on open battlefields, but gay men and women serving today will be unprepared because they could be attacked at any moment and they might be caught with their pants down. Literally.

He doesn’t have a lot of confidence in the professional discipline of the US military, does he?

Gohmert believes Don’t Ask Don’t Tell should not have been repealed because, clearly, our servicemen and women will be more prepared for what lies ahead if they live in shame and give each other “massages” in secret rather than openly.