Education WTF

Marathon Spelling Bee Ends With “Definition?”

Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — A marathon spelling bee finally has a conclusion — after nearly 100 rounds and two weeks of anticipation.

On Saturday, the seventh-grader was declared the winner after his opponent stumbled on “stifling” in the 28th round.

Kush Sharma, who attends a Kansas City charter school, accurately spelled “definition” in the next round to claim the title and move on to the Scripps National Spelling Bee in May. Lee’s Summit fifth-grader Sophia Hoffman took second place.

Sharma and Hoffman were the last two standing last month after 19 rounds. It took them several hours and an additional 47 rounds to force Saturday’s deciding event.

Look, I know they very likely had to spell bigger words along the way, probably words that I couldn’t spell, but I’m counting on these kids to spoon-feed me Gerber-goo when I’m shouting at brain spiders during quiet time at the retirement home someday.

If they get my sweet peas mixed up with my pea pods, the brain spiders win. Simple as that. It’s a lot of pressure, I know, but nothing that some brown paper bag love won’t fix.

We will defeat you, brain spiders. Oh, we will.