Elvis Dingeldein speculates about how Palin might handle the bailout:
Palin announced today that she can pump more than $326 million into the U.S. economy simply by charging all American women for their rape kits after they are sexually assaulted. “This is a no-brainer,” the Governor said into a microphone cleverly disguised as a blueberry muffin, the only way the National Media* has been able to get Ms. Palin to go on the record. “A woman is sexually assaulted in this country every two minutes, and we can get $1,200 a pop for these rape kits. That’s $36,000 an hour, people!”
You know what's crazy? It's crazy that I need to point out that this item is a joke. It's not real. She never said this. But it feels like it could be a couple days away. This is how self-satirical the Republican ticket has become.