The Myerstown Herald

In my latest thing for the Huffington Post, I mentioned a local weekly newspaper here in eastern Pennsylvania called The Myerstown Herald. Here are some headlines from this week's issue:

-Goons Slash Tires on Hunter's Vehicle
-Knuckleheads Key Vehicle
-Vehicle Hits Vehicle, Flees
-Punk Punctures Eight Tires
-Pumpkin Punks Attack Vehicle
-Lunkheads Steal Lighter, Air Vents

Awesome. And yes, this newspaper is very real. However, I've cycled through Myerstown hundreds of times and I've never seen any punks or goons. Knuckleheads everywhere, but no goons.