Democratic Party

New rules for future Democratic presidents

A note to future Democratic presidents. Based on Mr. Bush's performance tonight, the following is fair game without reprisal from Republicans in the media and Congress:

1. You wanna know what rocks? Using the parents of slain soldiers for political purposes. Especially if the soldier is killed in an unpopular, bloody, lie-based war. That's what rocks.

2. Never reveal proposals for anything in detail. Speak in vague platitudes and America will love you for it.

3. You can reference numbers and projections and when they turn out to be insanely wrong, you can, without shame, blame whomever gave you the incorrect information. Be it about war justifications or domestic reforms. (Example: To Senator Clinton -- when you're attacked in the '08 race for your attempted health care reforms of 1993, feel free to say you received misleading and incorrect "intelligence".)

4. Flip-flop all you want. What you say in your inaugural address can easily be "revised" in time for your State of the Union.

5. If you fail to gather enough support for some grand domestic reform and Congress ends up passing something totally different, declare a MASSIVE victory.

6. Even the most mediocre State of the Union addresses will be considered Reagan-esque*. Hell, read a Smithsonian gift shoppe Mad-Libs page -- and voila! -- Reagan-esque.

7. And finally, 49% approval is the new 85%.

*When David Dreier called Bush's address "Reagan-esque" on MSNBC's "After Hours", Reagan's corpse threw up in his mouth.