Child President

Preparing for Mueller, Trump Can’t Even Handle Practice Interviews

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Trump's lawyers have said preparing their client for an interview with special prosecutor Robert Mueller would be too time consuming for the busy, golf-playing president, but the Wall Street Journal reports that they actually have been preparing Trump for an interview.

Or at least they've tried to.

The Journal reports that Trump was only able to answer two questions during a four-hour interview.

Preparing Mr. Trump to testify would be a serious distraction to his work as president, eating into time he needs to deal with pressing global issues, Mr. Trump’s lawyers contend.

In an informal, four-hour practice session, Mr. Trump’s lawyers were only able to walk him through two questions, given the frequent interruptions on national-security matters along with Mr. Trump’s loquaciousness, one person familiar with the matter said.

"Mr Trump's loquaciousness."

That's an extraordinarily diplomatic way of saying he can't handle an interview with his own staff because he has the intellect and attention span of a toddler.

  • I’m betting there were approximately 10 minutes of “national security” interruptions, and 3 hours 50 minutes of “loquaciousness”.

  • Aynwrong

    Googled “loquaciousness.” This is what came up.

    talking or tending to talk much or freely; talkative; chattering; babbling; garrulous: a loquacious dinner guest. 2. characterized by excessive talk; wordy: easily the most loquacious play of the season.

    “Loquaciousness” may be the single best vocabulary word ever used to describe a gibberish spouting imbecile but it’s far too polite.

    • Loquaciousness implies some coherency. I think “verbal diarrhea” is much more apropos, don’t you?

  • Victor the Crab

    What serious distraction? All this giant anus does most of the time is watch Fox News, to tell him what a wonderful, powerful, handsome president he is, and to poop tweet on the toilet, leaving a giant stench in the bathroom. Drumpf’s lawyers, like his doctors, are so full of shit.

  • muselet

    In an informal, four-hour practice session, Mr. Trump’s lawyers were only able to walk him through two questions, given the frequent interruptions on national-security matters along with Mr. Trump’s loquaciousness, one person familiar with the matter said.

    “Interruptions on national-security matters.” I can only imagine.

    “Sir, please put down your phone. Twitter can wait.”

    “Sir, this is important. Please don’t order pizza right now.”

    “Hello? Oh, hello, Melania.… I’m really busy.… Yes, Mistress.… Could you gentlemen excuse me for a few minutes?… Yes, Mistress, I’m still wearing the plug and the cage.… ”

    Four hours to answer two questions. Robert Mueller’s people must be salivating at the prospect of interviewing Donald Trump.

    –alopecia

    • MadJuana

      “The plug and the cage….” Bwahahahaha! Thanks for making me guffaw.

      • muselet

        I’m glad that was your reaction and not dry-heaving.

        –alopecia