Election 2016 WTF

Pro-Life Jeb Bush Would Totally Murder Baby Hitler

Written by SK Ashby

Jeb Bush wants you to know that he is a very hip, cool dude with boundless character and, to that end, he has responded to a stupid question and meme that was funny for all of 5 minutes a couple weeks ago. He's just like your uncle who discovered the internet last week.

The New York Times Magazine polled readers last month to find if they would travel back in time and assassinate baby Adolph Hitler in a drastic reimagining of The Terminator.

For some unknowable reason, Jeb! responded to the question today.

Hell yeah, I would!” the former Florida governor told HuffPost. “You gotta step up, man.” [...]

“It could have a dangerous effect on everything else, but I’d do it -- I mean, Hitler,” Bush said with a shrug.

You gotta be a man, man.

One imagines if you did have the impossible ability to travel back in time, you could guide baby Adolph in another direction. You could also skip the murder part and persuade the allies that impoverishing Germany could have drastic consequences in the coming decades as German citizens turn to a genocidal madman for reprisal.

There are any number of things you could do that don't involve pro-lifing baby Hitler to death.

In any event, what the fuck are we even talking about? This is the Republican presidential primary. Would Jeb Bush hit his mother on the head with a hammer? There are many questions that remain unanswered.