Lizard People

Report: White House Officials Say School Shooting Was a “Reprieve”

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Seventeen kids and teachers were gunned down at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida last week, which is terrible, but for the White House it was apparently good news.

White House officials who spoke off the record for obvious reasons told the Washington Post that the school shooting was a welcome distraction from the usual shitfest of Trump.

For everyone, it was a distraction or a reprieve,” said the White House official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to reflect internal conversations. “A lot of people here felt like it was a reprieve from seven or eight days of just getting pummeled.

The official likened the brief political calm to the aftermath of the October shooting in Las Vegas that left 58 dead and hundreds more injured. That tragedy united White House aides and the country in their shared mourning for the victims and their families.

But as we all know, sadly, when the coverage dies down a little bit, we’ll be back through the chaos,” the official said.

And what was the White House "getting pummeled" by? It was the fact that they allowed a wife beater without security clearance to serve as Trump's staff secretary and continued making excuses for him even after photos of his ex-wife's injuries were released.

Like most people I have moments when I wonder if the world we live in has left me dead inside, but I suppose it's a "reprieve" to know that there are people far more depraved than I.

We are not the worst people. These are the worst people. Lizard people.

It occurs to me that it's just a matter of time before there's another school shooting or "reprieve" for the White House.

  • Christopher Foxx

    It occurs to me that it’s just a matter of time before there’s another school shooting or “reprieve” for the White House.

    “just a matter of time” will be about 5 days, at current rates.

  • muselet

    Soulless bastards.

    –alopecia

  • katanahamon

    Any daily incident from Rump or his White House personnel if trans located to the Obama presidency would have resulted in republicans impeaching Obama before the end of the day..he couldn’t even wear a tan suit for christ’ sake. The hypocrisy is overwhelming. Golfing during teen shooting massacre victims’ funerals? How far beyond normal decency can it go? Isn’t this pretty much the worst thing imaginable? Golfing..because it was a convenient trip to Mar a Lago, a convenient distraction from the nonstop incompetence parade of scandals, during teen shooting massacre victims’ funerals? What would they have said if..oh yeah, Obama would NEVER have done anything remotely as crass and disgusting and subhuman.

    • Tony Lavely

      Upvote 1000 times!

    • Christopher Foxx

      Golfing during teen shooting massacre victims’ funerals? How far beyond normal decency can it go? Isn’t this pretty much the worst thing imaginable?

      No, the repeated slaughtering of school children is.

  • ninjaf

    I see it more as a gallows humor kind of thing. Relatively speaking, this national tragedy gave them a break from the “mundane” talk of so many of their own failings, screw ups, and general incompetence. It gives them something external to focus on.

  • Sometimes it feels like we’re living in a nightmare and when they say something like this, so cynical, so ugly but honest–this is one of those moments. Everyone in DC and the political hierarchy that is allowing Trump the Traitor to remain in office need to go away.

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