Silver Bullets

As we all know, Muslims are immune to regular bullets, so a company of dubious purpose in Idaho has devised bullets laced with pork. And when you use it, the terrorists explode like a water balloon filled with blood. Obviously.

via Media Matters

A company in northern Idaho has come up with a culturally sensitive approach. Jihawg Ammo has developed a proprietary system for infusing ballistic paint with pork. The special pork-infused paint is then applied to the bullets of loaded ammunition. The inclusion of pork in the paint makes the bullets haraam, or unclean. Under Islamic law, anyone who comes in contact with any haraam item is then unclean and must engage in a cleansing ritual. No unclean person can be admitted into Paradise. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 72 virgins.

This swine-infused ammunition is reportedly intended to be “a deterrent to would-be terrorists,” which I suppose is more viable than praying the terrorists away, but only slightly.


What’s really depressing is I have no doubt there is a market for this in America. Now will someone tell me where can I pre-order?