Cartoon

Summer Reading

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

(Cartoonist - Joe Heller)

In other news, Batshit Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows (R-NC) says the current version of the Senate GOP's deathcare bill can't pass the House. I'm sure it could pass after they make it worse.

Meanwhile, the biotech stock that Rep. Chris Collins (R-NY) has been shilling to other members of Congress has reportedly collapsed.

Innate Immunotherapeutics stock, valued as high as $1.77 a share in January, quickly fell to 5 cents a share at the close of trading on the Australian Stock Exchange. [...]

Statnews, a business news website, calculated that the Innate stock Collins still owns -- which was worth $45.5 million at its peak -- is now worth only $1.5 million. However, it is unclear how much money Collins invested in the company over the 15 years he has been involved with it.

The Office of Congressional Ethics is investigating Collins.

Finally, the court is reportedly having difficulty finding suitable jurors for the fraud trial of infamous Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli. This made me laugh my goddamn ass off.

“I think he’s a very evil man,” said another woman. “I don’t think I can be fair. My opinion is pretty well formed. I wouldn’t want to serve on this jury.”

But even jurors who had never heard of Shkreli seemed to hate him on sight.

“I looked right at him, and in my head, I said, ‘That’s a snake’ — not knowing who he was,” said one woman. [...]

Another man just didn’t like the looks of him.

“He kind of looks like a dick,” the man said.

  • Aynwrong

    I’ll bet that Collins has more than a few voters back home who bought into the “drain the swamp” nonsense. Maybe Collins could give some financial advice to Jason Chaffetz seeing as how he’s having such a hard time being a low paid public servant.

    “He kind of looks like a dick,” the man said.
    https://www.northparktheatre.org/wp-content/uploads/16400533.gif

  • Victor the Crab

    Any suitable jurors with enough smarts would lie their faces off and say they’ve never of Martin Shkreli, then convene and take thirty minutes to declare him guilty as sin so that the judge can punish him to the fullest extent of the law and send him to a maximum security penitentiary for a long time so that the prison population can have at his smug evil self.