Gun Fetishists Guns Wingnuts

Ted Cruz Fries Bacon With a Gun Like Real ‘Merikans

Written by SK Ashby

There's nothing Ted Cruz enjoys more than cooking breakfast. With a gun.

Not to be pedantic, but that is not a "machine gun."

Personally I prefer a thicker cut of bacon, but I'm just an arugula-eating, liberal heathen who fries bacon in a skillet like most humans who have not been reduced to gimmicks for poll numbers.

Who will be the next Republican presidential candidate to produce a parody of themselves?