Ted Cruz to Ruin Easter and Life in General by Starting Campaign Ad Season

Written by SK Ashby

Senator and Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz will ruin Easter and life as we know it by kicking off campaign ad season way too fucking early.

To my bewilderment, Team Cruz will run their ads during an airing of "Killing Jesus."

The first ad buy for Cruz's 2016 campaign will air in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Nevada during the Fox News Channel's broadcast of “Killing Jesus.” The documentary is based on the book by Fox News host Bill O’Reilly and will air on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

The ad, titled “Blessing,” uses audio from Cruz’s presidential announcement in late March on top of a montage of scenes.

The ad reportedly features children saying the Pledge of Allegiance and a soldier hugging his wife before presumably being shipped off to a yet-to-be-determined war that Ted Cruz and his colleagues will send him to die in. Just as Free Market Jesus intended.

Nothing says wholesome family Easter time like Ted Cruz commercial breaks interspersed throughout the crucifixion on Fox News.