George W. Bush

That's telling 'em, George!

What the hell is that asshat jacket?George Bush went into great detail during a speech at Camp Pendleton Tuesday about how specifically he intends to deal with the insurgency in Iraq. While decked out in a pseudo-military jacket*, Bush outlined the step-by-step strategy for winning the peace in Iraq. Ready for the plan?

"Free people will never choose their own enslavement," he began. "When Iraqis choose their leader in free elections, it will destroy the myth that the terrorists are fighting a foreign occupation and make clear that what the terrorists really are fighting is the will of the Iraqi people."

Wow. Free people will never determine their own enslavement. And elections. That's the... plan? So evidently, the insurgency will melt into the Black Gate precipice from what? Bush's rose-colored rhetoric? The soldiers can go home then, once the election is done.

Moreover, free people have historically chosen political oppression in elections. Here's just one example:

In 1932, Hitler ran for president against a Communist candidate and Hindenburg, the incumbent president. The election was a spirited one, in which 84 percent of all eligible voters cast ballots. Those voters had to decide which party offered the best solution to the nation's problems.

*Mark Crispin Miller, in "A Patriot Act", notes that Bush is the only president in American history to disregard the civilian office of the Executive by wearing a military uniform. Not even the accomplished Generals Washington, Eisenhower, Grant, Jackson... No other president has worn military garb while in office except a fortunate son who dodged the draft.