Comedy

The Johns Are No Longer Don’s

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Here's a perfect story for our time.

Following news that despot-elect Donald Trump allegedly enjoys watching Russian prostitutes piss on each other, the unfortunately named company that provides portable toilets for the inauguration, Don's Johns, has begun defacing their own products.

Virginia-based Don's Johns calls itself the Washington area's top provider of portable toilet rentals. But the name apparently strikes too close to home for inaugural organizers.

Workers have placed blue tape over the company name on dozens of portable restrooms installed near the Capitol for the inauguration.

We're all counting on local activists to rip the tape off Don's Johns.

  • muselet

    If the inauguration organizers had ignored this, a few … erm … immature people would have had a giggle, snapped a quick pic on their phones to prove they weren’t lying, and the story would have died out in about ten minutes.

    Instead, the organizers have guaranteed people will be taking about this for weeks and given protesters a *ahem* golden opportunity to *ahem* take the piss out of Donald Trump. (Sorry. I promise I will avoid urine-related humor for at least 48 hours.)

    Is that because of incompetence or are the organizers secretly undermining Trump? Inquiring minds want to know.

    –alopecia

  • Tony Lavely

    Wonder what those workers could have been doing if not defacing private property?
    Just sayin’

    ETA: an ‘s’

  • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

    This sounds like a Golden opportunity.

    Fate has Showered us with this good fortune.

    It truly is fitting that Trump hold the #1 spot.

    But removing the tape would Piss him off.

    So we should really Water it down a bit.

    We wouldn’t want him to spring a Leak.

    • muselet

      That’s just a wee bit disgusting.

      –alopecia