The Only Way to Stop a Bad Guy With a Gun is With a Can of Corn

Picard and Riker Facepalm

The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun in ‘Merika is a good kid with a can of corn.

A middle school principal wants to stockpile cans of corn and peas in classrooms for students to hurl at possible intruders as a last defense. In a letter Friday, Priscella Holley, principal at W. F. Burns Middle School in Valley, Chambers County, asked parents to have each student bring an eight-ounce canned item. The can “could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive,” Ms. Holley wrote. “The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure.” The school superintendent said the request had brought few complaints.

On the other hand, a kid throwing canned vegetables may provoke an intruder, making the kid a target.

Alternatively, we could do something about the abundance of guns in America, but that’s crazy talk.