This Week's Myerstown Herald

My favorite headlines from this week's all new Myerstown Herald (website or pdf):

-Knuckleheads let air out of tire
-Phone Fool Threatens Man's Life
-Vehicle Hits Vehicle, Flees
-Police: Two Men Swipe Beef Jerky
-Dorks Use Object to Vandalize Mailbox

Also, on page 13 (pdf), the Herald responded to my remarks in this blog. My favorite quotes from their editorial response:

The use of the words goons, punks and thugs is not irresponsible. [...] We think these words are appropriate to describe these people.

Sure. It's totally responsible to editorialize in straight news stories. Please don't stop or else the four people who live in Myerstown won't know whether a bad guy is bad or not.

Myerstown obviously has more than four people.

Right on, Dr. Obvious McLiteral. Anyway, I love the Myerstown Herald. May its supply of goons and dorks be plentiful for many years to come.