Child President

Trump Blamed Photographers For His Micro-Crowd Problem

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Our insecure, manchild-in-chief was reportedly so upset by images of his tiny inauguration crowd that he called National Park Service director Michael T. Reynolds and ordered him to produce more photographs that would show a bigger crowd.

In a Saturday phone call, Trump personally ordered Reynolds to produce additional photographs of the previous day’s crowds on the Mall, according to three individuals who have knowledge of the conversation. The president believed that the photos might prove that the media had lied in reporting that attendance had been no better than average. [...]

Word rapidly spread through the agency and Washington. The individuals who informed The Washington Post about the call did so on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the conversation.

Reynolds produced more photographs, but new photographs obviously did not change the size of the crowd because that's not how physical reality works.

Trump's people responded to the Washington Post's inquiries by saying this just shows Trump is someone who "takes action and gets things done," as if taking action to compensate for your huge ego and relatively tiny dick is somehow admirable.

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  • muselet

    Perhaps Donald Trump should pay attention to his followers. A recent Letter to the Editor in my local paper proposed a different explanation for the difference in crowd size.

    After acknowledging that the crowds at Donald Trump’s inauguration were smaller than they were for Barack Obama’s, the writer argued—with great sincerity—that this was because Trump voters are salt-of-the-earth types from RealMurca who couldn’t afford to take time off from their jobs and travel to a distant city.

    I wish I were joking.

    –alopecia

  • Draxiar

    Photoshopped his hands? Next thing he’ll do is photoshop his signature on pictures of the Declaration of Independence. I want so many bad things to happen to this man.

  • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

    Here’s the thing that gets me about comparing Trump’s crowds to Obama’s: The inauguration takes place in Washington DC – a city that votes Blue Team by something like 90%.

    Irrespective of the general enthusiasm and quality of the President being sworn in, it’s just much easier for a Democrat to get a much bigger crowd. Why overthink this?

    If the inauguration had been held in Texas, Trump probably would have turned out a much bigger crowd than he did. But it wasn’t. It was held in deep-deep-blue DC.

    It’s like asking why the Yankees can sell out in NY but not in Kansas City. Well, the answer is simple, really. There just aren’t as many Yankee fans in Kansas City – that’s not where they are.

    Now, the fact that Obama’s was a historic event in-and-of itself (first black President) only serves to exacerbate this. DC has a huge African American population eager to turn out to show support. Trump, by contrast, is the 44th white male President – there’s nothing “historic” about that – certainly nothing that’s going to draw a ton of local minorities into your event.

    • The fact that Trump can’t grok this is hilarious.

  • Christopher Foxx

    To make the two images comparable, I increased the size of the photo on the right (138%) to get the steps in the background to be the same size as those in the photo on the left. Trump’s hand from the right photo is clearly smaller than it is in the left.

    This “man” is ridiculously pathetic and vain.

  • Aynwrong

    The next reporter who interviews him really needs to be prepared to tell him to face that he’s wrong and he has no facts to back up his absurd claims.

    This is why I miss Jon Stewart so much. No one is more qualified to cut the Orange Napoleon down to size. He could think very fast on his feet, he always seemed better informed than most reporters and most importantly, he didn’t have to play by any set of rules. He could tell Trump to his face how utterly ridiculous he is right to his face. Though I doubt even Trump would ever be foolish enough to put himself in that position just having Stewart on the air is the nightly debunking we desperately need.

    America needs Jon Stewart back. Badly.

  • 1933john

    If Trump would rid himself of that rancid
    chub salami festering in his jockey shorts,
    things might get a little better.

  • No one understand those pictures of the inauguration.

    All that white space on the Mall? Trump’s supporters. There’s at least two million people there but they’re so white and only white, they show up as one solid white mass. Easy mistake to make.

    • mnpollio

      Don’t give him any ideas. That will be his next explanation that he will expect us to take at face value.

    • 1933john

      All with blond hair?

    • ninjaf

      No, no, no. You just can’t see them individually because their white hoods and robes blend in with the white tarp.

  • The photoshop thing is funny but I thought it wasn’t true at first because the picture on the right is much smaller. So I cut and then expanded the one on the right so that the figures match the height and width of the figures on the left, and the hand is still VERY small. So she’s right, it’s not a matter of perspective, someone changed the size of his hands. Also note that Trumps shoes have a distinct heel on them to add to his height. He’s already tall but I’m sure no amount of added height or hand-size would assuage the black hole inside.

    And while he’s still obsessing on crowd size and the popular vote, people in the South are suffering from Tornadoes with FEMA nowhere in sight. This man is a complete loon and unfit for the Presidency.

    • Scopedog

      Hmmm…so he’s trying the Stalin approach of altering the images. Imagine if Stalin had Photoshop….