Benghazi Hillary Clinton

What Hath the Select Bullshit Committee Wrought

In compliance with public records requests, the Select Benghazi Committee, and a judge's orders, the State Department has released another 3,000 emails from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's office.

The State Department released 3,000 pages of emails from Hillary Clinton's tenure as the country's chief diplomat on Tuesday, in compliance with a judge's order to make the documents public.

U.S. District Judge Rudolph Contreras ordered the State Department to release emails from the former secretary of State's private account every 30 days beginning June 30. The last batch of emails will be released in January 2016.

And what exactly has the Select Jackass Committee uncovered? What nefarious deeds have been laid bare for the public?

Well, for starters, the head of the state department has experienced the same problems with fax machines that anyone else has.

In one December 23, 2009, exchange, Clinton and Abedin struggle to get several "secure" faxes to work.

Abedin's email subject line was "can you hang up the fax line, they will call again and try fax."

"I thought it was supposed to be off hook to work?" Clinton responded.

Adedin asked Clinton to hang up once more so they "can re-establish the line."

"I did," Clinton said.

Abedin replied, "Just pick up phone and hang it up. And leave it hung up."

"I've done it twice now," Clinton said.


The former secretary of state also asked for assistance in tracking down the origin of some really swank carpet.

With the subject line "Don't laugh," Clinton asked an aide on December 15, 2009, about some carpets she saw when meeting with then-Chinese President Hu Jintao.

"Can you contact your protocol friend in China and ask him if I could get photos of the carpets of the rooms I met in w POTUS during the recent trip? I loved their designs and the way they appeared carved. Any chance we can get this?" Clinton asked.


Husband and former president Bill Clinton has a hand in her speeches it turns out. Discussing edits on an upcoming speech to aide Cheryl Mills on July 12, 2009, Clinton wrote, "I am nearly done w my editing (along w Bill's)."

No shit?

These emails may appear to be inane and inconsequential, but the GOP has already explained to us why that is. It's because Hillary deleted all the really good stuff, obviously. It's a conspiracy.

She didn't catch everything, however. Do we know who Santa is?

In one cryptic email to Abedin on July 6, 2009, Clinton writes simply, "I'm seeing Santa at 8:30 so won't take off until closer to 9:30. Is that ok?"

It's unclear who Santa is.


Santa is clearly a secret henchman who cleared the way for the attack on the American embassy in Benghazi. He could also be the jolly, bearded man in red who issued the non-existent order for military personnel to stand down.

Stay tuned for the next dramatic reading of Hillary Clinton emails uncovered by the Select Solyndra IRS Committee to Investigate the Benghazi ACORN Birth Certificate Email Account.