Cartoon

Where It (Never) Happened

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

(Cartoonist - Stuart Carlson)

In other news, in research published in the journal Nature Medicine, Chinese scientists say antibody counts in people who recovered from the coronavirus dramatically drop off -- with a median of 70 percent reduction -- within 2 to 3 months.

Meanwhile, the Navy has reversed course and decided not to reinstate Captain Crozier to the USS Theodore Roosevelt after earlier recommending his reinstatement. Crozier is not expected to command a ship ever again because he saved his crew from Trump.

Finally, the New York Post (I know) reports that those police officers who claimed they were intentionally poisoned by Shake Shack employees were literally never even sick at all.

Soon after sipping the shakes, however, the cops realized they didn’t taste or smell right, so they threw the drinks in the trash and alerted a manager, who apologized and issued them vouchers for free food or drink, which they accepted, according to sources.

But when the cops told their sergeant about the incident, the supervisor called in the Emergency Service Unit to set up a crime scene at the fast-food joint for an evidence search around 9:20 p.m. — nearly two hours after they first got the sour shakes.

The three were rushed to Bellevue Hospital, where they were examined and released without ever showing symptoms, sources said.

Meanwhile, a lieutenant from the Bronx blasted out an email to the unions that six cops “started throwing up after drinking beverages they got from shake shack on 200 Broadway.”

It was unclear why the sergeant and lieutenant escalated the situation. [...]

But by 10:45 p.m., the Detectives Endowment Association was declaring that Finest had become “ill” after being “intentionally poisoned by one or more workers at the Shake Shack” — as Police Benevolent Association president Pat Lynch made a show of visiting Bellevue while his union declared at 10:47 p.m. that police officers came “under attack” from a “toxic substance, believed to be bleach.”

This made me quite angry when I read it this afternoon. Police unions are the reason why I cannot consider myself entirely, 100 percent pro union. Show me a police union and I'll show you an organization that behaves like the spokesperson for an organized crime family at war with the citizens under their "protection."

I hope everyone had a good weekend and happy father's day.

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  • muselet

    • It is concerning that antibody levels drop so much in Covid-19 patients. However:

    Jin Dong-Yan, a virology professor at the University of Hong Kong who was not part of the research group, said the study does not negate the possibility that other parts of the immune system could offer protection.

    Some cells memorize how to cope with a virus when first infected and can muster effective protection if there is a second round of infection, he said. Scientists are still investigating whether this mechanism works for the new coronavirus.

    “The finding in this paper doesn’t mean the sky is falling,” he said, also noting that number of patients studied was small.

    • Bad decision. I said it before and I’ll say it again: the only people who look good after the USS Theodore Roosevelt outbreak are Brett Crozier and his crew.

    • Gee, what a surprise. Also, the Post is being a bit … erm … disingenuous here:

    It was unclear why the sergeant and lieutenant escalated the situation.

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

    –alopecia