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Columbus Day

I suppose if there's a holiday in which we talk about a rabbit breaking into your house and hiding eggs and jelly beans in there, then it stands to reason there are other equally fictitious national holidays on the calendar. And Columbus Day is definitely one of them.

At this point, just about everyone is aware of the fact that Columbus didn't "discover America." So seriously, what's the point? Should I really not be getting my mail delivered today in honor of someone who didn't actually do what we're supposed to be celebrating here?

How about this: move the holiday to the first Tuesday of November and call it "Election Day." Or what about a holiday for -- shock horror! -- a great American woman. We don't have any national holidays for women, as far as I know. How about Eleanor Roosevelt? Or Nellie Bly? Or Clara Barton? Rosa Parks? Emily Dickinson? Fannie Lou Hamer? Sally Ride?

Fancy that. A national holiday for a woman rather than a thing that didn't really happen and only wrecked havoc. So let's get going, holiday decider people.

Meanwhile, here's a pretty solid takedown of the Columbus myths.