Lizard People

House Reps. Pumped Themselves Up to Kill People With “Rocky”

Written by SK Ashby

If you're familiar with the story of fictional boxer Rocky Balboa, this may seem a little awkward.

House Republicans held a pep really this morning where they pumped themselves up for a vote to kill and bankrupt millions of people by listening to Rocky's theme.

Leaders played the “Rocky” theme song as lawmakers walked into the meeting. Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) put an image of George S. Patton on the screen and read inspirational quotes from the general.

“Let’s get this f--king thing done!” Rep. Martha McSally (R-Ariz.) told her colleagues, according to sources in the room.

Rocky Balboa goes bankrupt and his wife Adrian dies of ovarian cancer, the likes of which is screened at Planned Parenthood. Rocky himself is eventually diagnosed with cancer and his treatment is covered by Medicare, a single-payer system.